tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46597101974095341162024-02-19T04:05:30.961-08:00Beautiful Adventurous Journey New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-62562995893733447492021-03-19T20:17:00.000-07:002021-03-19T20:17:05.032-07:00Time to Talk ThaiSitting in the Chiang Mai International Airport drinking coffee and observing the comings and goings of many nationalities, I find myself reflecting on the past 3 days in Chiang Mai. My first visit to Thailand did not disapoint, and I say first visit because I know I will be back at some point to this beautiful country. In 3 days we barely scratched the surface of what just one city has to offer. The sweet sticky smell of Durian (not so much a favorite) to the smoky charred bbq aroma of the grilled meats and vegetables, every corner and turn held more delicious surprises.<br />
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Chiang Mai is known as the city of temples, and I would have to say we couldn't walk more than a few steps without encountering another temple. Each temple just a little different and unique in it's own way. Walking through the old city made me contemplate and wonder about the history of this city that seems to be hovering on the verge of ancient and modern. Looking at the wall and the temples I wondered why was the wall built, you only build a wall generaly as protection, so I did some research and discovered that Chiang Mai gained it's independence after much of Thailand. They gained freedom from Burma and then joined with Thailand. This led to more reading about the temples and the history of the temple on the hill. Doi Suthep temple is high on the moutain about 25km outside the city. Story goes, an ancient monk known to have a piece of the shoulder bone of the original Buddha came to the base of that mountain, and the bone broke in two pieces. One piece was left and a temple was built in the area, and the other piece was tied to a white elephant who wandered the jungles until he died. The place in which he died was where Doi Suthep was built and then housed the piece of shoulder bone. The little stories and nuggets of history like this are what make me want to meet and talk with the people in a place. I want to hear their stories and their history.<br />
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The smells, the sounds, the people, the sites, all put together make a place beautiful.<br />
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While we did get to spend a good amount of time seeing some of the local sites (like the Elephant Poo Paper Factory), this trip was about more than just seeing Thailand. Gettng to the heart of Thailand and the needs of some of the people here was the ultimate goal. This journey led to that as well. Like all places in the world, there are needs here. Two that I became most aware of were the need for education for all students, and the need for orphan care (which is somewhat a two part need).<br />
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First as I began to hear of the need for education, we learned that most students do not recieve beyond a grade 6 education. This continues to a create a cycle that prevents people from being able to make sustainable livings for their family. Thailand also ranks as one of the lowest English speaking Asian nations. The lack of English knowledge for many prevents them from being able to obtain higher paying jobs and better future for their families. There is also a region of Thailand in which 80% of the children do not live with either their father or their mother because the parents leave to go work somewhere else in the country, or if possible in another country, just to make enough to provide for their families. (This also leads to the next issue of orphan care to some degree). The lack of education then also leads to a lack of job opportunities for those in the country.<br />
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Second, there is a high rate of orphans in Thailand. For various reasons these children do not have homes, or proper homes, and there is need for places for these children to live and receive a proper education and care. The ideal situation would be families in Thailand taking in and fostering these children, but with that comes the need for training and education and support for these families who are willing to care for and love these children.<br />
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There are many layers to all of this obviously, and in my brief 3 days here, I am by no means an expert on the challenges found here, however, I am now more aware that while this place is a land of beautiful land and beautiful people, there are also ways others can help meet needs of those who can greatly benefit from just a little boost.<br />
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I look forward to seeing if The Remedy Foundation can be a partner with some here, or if this is simply a way to help connect others who may hear this and say I can be the one to help. Now the journey continues to Malaysia for a few more adventures.New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-13278198738160375822018-05-23T16:22:00.002-07:002018-05-23T16:22:38.925-07:00The Journey Continues... FinallyTwo years have passed since my last posting, and there has been a lot of beautiful adventurous journeys happening. The journey never really stopped, but my blogging did for some reason. Not for lack of ideas or happenings to blog about, but just no particular reason.<br />
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However! Now is the time for these little ramblings of mine to resume. I am about to embark on a new adventurous journey, one in which I am supremely excited about. I have no idea where this particular journey will take me, but I do know that I have spent a great deal of time praying that God would guide me in the right direction, so I have no doubt this journey will be just as beautiful as the others thus far in my life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYsoGEQqD6K0lp19vJ26qfSICifXMW60049YjkOSJPpxhRpY0FIEWyC7vaWbjvv99zi8wbG11Du-29q_pf1daCHPpN9ZMraBAlWf89rl5kz1wwIlJ8X_0Q44I2VcSdWPSR5NgFMNWQqo4/s1600/puzzle+piece.webp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="972" data-original-width="862" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYsoGEQqD6K0lp19vJ26qfSICifXMW60049YjkOSJPpxhRpY0FIEWyC7vaWbjvv99zi8wbG11Du-29q_pf1daCHPpN9ZMraBAlWf89rl5kz1wwIlJ8X_0Q44I2VcSdWPSR5NgFMNWQqo4/s320/puzzle+piece.webp" width="283" /></a>I have begun working with a non-profit organization called the Remedy Foundation, and we will be working to provide sustainable solutions to people in need. You may be wondering what exactly does that mean... well it just means we will be doing what we can to help those who need it, and those who<br />
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may be overlooked or ignored. Just like it says in Matthew 25:31 - 40, "When He finally arrives, blazing in beauty and all his angels with him, the Son of Man will take his place on his glorious throne. Then all the nations will be arranged before him and He will sort the people out, much as a shepherd sorts out sheep and goats, putting sheep to his right and goats to his left. Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what's coming to you in this kingdom. It's been ready for you since the world's foundation. And here's why:<br />
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<ul>
<li>I was hungry and you fed me, </li>
<li>I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, </li>
<li>I was homeless and you gave me a room, </li>
<li>I was shivering and you gave me clothes, </li>
<li>I was sick and you stopped to visit, </li>
<li>I was in prison and you came to me.'</li>
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Then those 'sheep' are going to say, 'Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?' Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me - you did it to me." </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhds00G5NWN1RbWDXB3oW793C6e3tU-KEGfvwNGMGVLnU4JkR28X_dFVkeVWUsiscLg-_geKbSjtGNX3ukCB2xGeeoasYDII8EZgecgmeHEBFG0749g0ikyLnbBlHzuWuePNmTVd_iIo78/s1600/Travel+Hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhds00G5NWN1RbWDXB3oW793C6e3tU-KEGfvwNGMGVLnU4JkR28X_dFVkeVWUsiscLg-_geKbSjtGNX3ukCB2xGeeoasYDII8EZgecgmeHEBFG0749g0ikyLnbBlHzuWuePNmTVd_iIo78/s320/Travel+Hands.jpg" width="320" /></a>I truly believe God has called me to be like the hands and feet of Jesus, and so I plan to live that out in whatever way He leads me. This is not a calling just to me, but my whole family, and we will all be getting involved as we discover the needs of those we encounter.<br />
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So! What does all this mean. Well first, I will still be involved with the NGO I have worked with in the past (PNP Global), and who knows what other groups or places God will lead. Secondly, as for the Remedy Foundation, I leave tomorrow on an initial partner meeting let's call it. I will be meeting with groups in Thailand, Malaysia, India, and Sri Lanka. The next 2 weeks will be a whirlwind of travel around the world, or meetings, and discussions, and seeing where can we begin to partner in order to start providing some sustainable solutions to the 'least of these' or those who may be ignored or overlooked.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMW603tfmQhOfp6ePUa928Hze51p-ZYBaRCcemvYUjej74Wo3qfEGsIZ6R0ui7eHjkqJ_-UbNCEzo7O23nXm1HN0jNop1Qv6M2xsMbKkSf9qgJQgl9ypaHQ9hKJU3in_SUMDNhQkJZyzE/s1600/Light+Bulb.webp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="580" data-original-width="1280" height="145" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMW603tfmQhOfp6ePUa928Hze51p-ZYBaRCcemvYUjej74Wo3qfEGsIZ6R0ui7eHjkqJ_-UbNCEzo7O23nXm1HN0jNop1Qv6M2xsMbKkSf9qgJQgl9ypaHQ9hKJU3in_SUMDNhQkJZyzE/s320/Light+Bulb.webp" width="320" /></a>Everyday it seems God is opening more doors to those who are in need, or those who are connected to those in need. So, I sit tonight, on this eve of one of the greatest adventurous journeys I have ever embarked on, just wondering, which direction do I go. Which group is the place to partner, one, many, a few. Only God knows, and I will be obedient, and just follow the way in which He leads. For now, at this moment, He is leading to Thailand, and from there on, and on. So I say farewell for tonight, and will update again from Thailand in a few days!New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-82034367415644023032016-03-30T20:26:00.003-07:002021-03-19T20:21:12.293-07:00Where did the last 2 months go... Concussion, Sri Lanka, and General CrazySo it has been just over 2 months since my last post. So many things have happened in the last few months and there have been numerous times I have wanted to post. I have written many posts in my head and just not had the chance to sit and write them. Several things have happened in the last 2 months.<br />
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1. I got a concussion... funny story actually. I decided to take my new camera to the zoo for some practice. I didn't have my kids and let me tell you it was one of the most peaceful afternoons I had enjoyed in a long time! Don't get me wrong I love going to the zoo and hanging out with my kids, but there was something so relaxing about being at the zoo and just wandering around with my camera (picture from that day at zoo below). I also realized I wasn't rushing to do anything... I was just meandering along the paths at my own pace with no schedule. It was amazing.... Until I ran into a pole and got a concussion...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv9jHp2kT2b0qaTxG6_61I9ltl0ejjPtY5lU2q896OoWnJoZHzwmdHUUzs0OB7pU5jER3h5ZtOh6XR1bMWqNGlUuMmtzO47RFbSKzJDC7HAC0dmb1bnRYvjf23djgGF50GnGu65vkVi4A/s1600/24857934500_5efd55b2fd_o.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv9jHp2kT2b0qaTxG6_61I9ltl0ejjPtY5lU2q896OoWnJoZHzwmdHUUzs0OB7pU5jER3h5ZtOh6XR1bMWqNGlUuMmtzO47RFbSKzJDC7HAC0dmb1bnRYvjf23djgGF50GnGu65vkVi4A/s400/24857934500_5efd55b2fd_o.jpg" width="400" /></a>Yes, you read that right. I ran into a pole while walking and hit my head so hard I got a concussion. I wasn't on my phone or texting or doing anything at all except not looking where I was walking. As soon as I hit my head I knew I had hit it pretty hard because it took a good while before I could see straight again, but I had no idea the severity. The next morning Matt could tell something wasn't right. I was having trouble speaking and I couldn't focus my eyes well. I spent the weekend resting and went to the doctor on Monday. He confirmed I had a concussion and a fairly severe one at that. I was ordered to spend one week with no screens and pretty much total brain rest. So put my phone, computer, tv away and spent a lot of time sleeping and coloring. I was still having some trouble at the end of the week and it took a good 2 - 3 weeks before I was feeling like myself again.<br />
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This was a good detox period for me. I mean obviously I was completely removed from technology for a few weeks and we probably all need that sometimes. The biggest negative besides just not feeling like me... was I got so behind in life. I got behind in doing work for school, I got behind in maintaining my housework, I got behind in helping kids with school work, and just generally did not get to do a majority of things I had planned to do.<br />
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Even though I got so behind however, the most necessary things got done and life moved on. I definitely have much greater sympathy for anyone who suffers head trauma though! Dealing with that concussion was one of the hardest things I have had to do! (The fact that I ran into a pole and got a concussion probably does not surprise most people that know me well... that is pretty typical accident prone me!)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-0aGk3uEIfyKBLMEUvn1NoNWbDWJ6y9DRr-BUyV_ONUb9O2A1JtxbokWeAVoLbMLtVlCykeDB039lx3oqPptYMvyiCa6hXQBmWmzSdVuT5h8Cw8eJrNulvcj6yp8BaFBWpQmZo8lBjAo/s1600/25853716510_caa50ddc3d_o.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-0aGk3uEIfyKBLMEUvn1NoNWbDWJ6y9DRr-BUyV_ONUb9O2A1JtxbokWeAVoLbMLtVlCykeDB039lx3oqPptYMvyiCa6hXQBmWmzSdVuT5h8Cw8eJrNulvcj6yp8BaFBWpQmZo8lBjAo/s400/25853716510_caa50ddc3d_o.jpg" width="305" /></a>2. Relatively quickly after the 3 weeks of recovering from the concussion I left for Sri Lanka. I had about 1 week after feeling mostly recovered to get ready and it was so busy! I spent 10 days in Sri Lanka (gone from home almost 2 weeks with travel time to and from) and it was AMAZING! As always I felt like I was home while I was there. It just felt so good to be back and see my friends again and make new friends. Truly there are people there who have become family to me. I spent time at a National Park with some great friends/family and had an amazing time taking pictures of God's amazing creation, seeing beautiful animals, playing games, chatting and just enjoying 3 of the most peaceful days I have had in a long time (picture to the left is from the National Park). After that I spent 1 week helping conduct a conversational English program at the Faculty of Engineering University of Ruhuna. The program as always was a lot of fun and I am very glad to have made some new friends this time as well. As always the trip ended way before I was ready, and it was time to come back home. The only bad thing about this trip... I ended up with some allergic reaction to something and had the worst rash all over me! It kept getting worse and as we traveled home for 48 hours it spread and continued to get worse. As soon as I landed I had to see a doctor to get some treatment/relief. I have been home a week and half now and am still slightly itchy. I would take the rash and itching any day if it meant more time in Sri Lanka. Love the place, love the people, and love my family there. I can't wait to have Matt and the kids meet the places and people that have found such a special place in my heart!<br />
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So between these two major happenings in the last few months all the weeks in between have been just as eventful. I feel like things have just not stopped... so much is happening on all fronts... school changes... home changes... family changes... personal changes... sort of like fighting a war each day and the war is taking place on so many fronts... and while one front may be managed the one to the south is falling apart etc.<br />
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I spent a lot of time thinking the last few days... those of you closest to me know why I may have been doing so much thinking. But, in the time I have spent thinking the last few days I was reminded of the lyrics to the song Unstoppable God. <br />
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<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">"Unstoppable God</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Let Your glory go on and on</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Impossible things</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">In Your name they shall be done</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Nothing shall be impossible</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Your kingdom reigns unstoppable</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">We'll shout Your praise forevermore</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #ccccdd; font-family: "verdana" , "arial"; font-size: 13.4px; line-height: 19.1429px; text-align: center;">Jesus our God unstoppable"</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi287ms9kTH9djyocc56Dk6ZBfprXgiW1K77G6n774b2eALCgQzs-XUPmrOLpOnRPya6MFFOv2MEOssrlqOlxoQiQiK3CQo9zr3Wf18EiSwxMP7ox5aQ-T8A1eKVpImFQcJEjQCEAzeSTo/s1600/BkFf48vCUAALtXi.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi287ms9kTH9djyocc56Dk6ZBfprXgiW1K77G6n774b2eALCgQzs-XUPmrOLpOnRPya6MFFOv2MEOssrlqOlxoQiQiK3CQo9zr3Wf18EiSwxMP7ox5aQ-T8A1eKVpImFQcJEjQCEAzeSTo/s400/BkFf48vCUAALtXi.jpg" width="400" /></a>I love the reminder of this... the God I serve, the God I believe in, the God who is the God of any person in the world (anyone... no matter what culture or background you come from) who choses to accept Him, is a God who does impossible things. A God who is in control no matter what crazy things are happening in life. It doesn't matter what chaos is happening God is still in control. There is nothing happening in this life that He is not already aware of... and while I might feel like things are out of control... and things are spinning in a thousand different directions He is way way bigger than all of that. Nothing shall be impossible for Him. Things that just seem so out of my control and so just impossible to me are not for Him, and what is amazing is that I am a child of this Unstoppable God and He says that as a child of His I also have amazing power.... His power through me. I know that whatever happens in this life is to further His kingdom because His kingdom is Unstoppable... and He has a plan for me so much bigger than I could ever even imagine. If I shout His praises and spread His love in everything I do then I am doing what I was created for. </div>
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And really, all that matters is Him... all that matters is that His love is made known to every person on this planet... It is so easy to get just lost in the junk that is this sinful fallen world. I know I need a reminder often that He is so much bigger than all of that, and He has such an amazing plan... I can't wait to see it unfold. The good... the bad... all of it... makes the journey beautiful.<br />
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New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-26835237236562531822016-01-26T18:59:00.004-08:002016-01-26T18:59:41.560-08:00I'm holding a funeral...The things I don't want to do... but do anyways... Recently I sat down with someone whom I greatly trust and that person pointed out a few... let's say flaws... or maybe weaknesses in me. While these conversations are always hard, nothing he said was a surprise to me. I know the things that this person mentioned are things I do. Things I don't want to do, but do anyways. I can be so stubborn and hard headed... and well... this tends to lead me to respond in ways that are very not loving or Christ-like... or maybe you would never even know, but in my heart a bitterness is growing.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh61D5uJ3BGZYX50Un5q-3UUmgR7L6t2eDsZCsP_OggUftVoqZJFFPGr60YkQA5yq8oNCtLMEM0F1tzxRW2TCd4yizuMc4skVmALYx2Pfzoy5akleW53iA7Z1h1fA7caXNaEKZ_o3WNPJk/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh61D5uJ3BGZYX50Un5q-3UUmgR7L6t2eDsZCsP_OggUftVoqZJFFPGr60YkQA5yq8oNCtLMEM0F1tzxRW2TCd4yizuMc4skVmALYx2Pfzoy5akleW53iA7Z1h1fA7caXNaEKZ_o3WNPJk/s400/images.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
Sometimes I tend to just ignore what I know is right and push forward with my own agenda. This can cause problems in my marriage... in my work... in my relationships... and in just the opinion others have of me. I can't stand that I get so stuck in my ways about things. And honestly, I've posted about it before, it's my heart. It gets in the way... it gets attached to an idea... and to change that is like ripping my heart out. And then, other times, it's my heart again, not being attached to something, but being so concerned about causing another person pain, or a problem or just not being able to please everyone. So when I get so insistent on an idea, I may be giving one person everything they want, but not someone else, and I struggle with that!<br />
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So, again, nothing in this conversation I had was false, and nothing was new to me. The question in my mind, was how do I fix it? How do I change a part of me that has been a part of me for a long time.... I have to say, I have gotten better. There are things about me that I knew were a weakness that I have improved on. My hard head has softened just a little, but I tend to still forge ahead doing my thing many times without thinking. Sometimes I question if that is a bad thing, I mean some people may even call it initiative... my husband may disagree with that description though. I guess when it really comes down to it, my stubbornness and attitude that comes into play through that is a sin. And while I often will brush it aside, it is a sin that really has to be dealt with, and I am not sure how to fix it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyQS3ZBMeDDrjXC2hzFNPtTJpcM-J6TsC9EQWpDC_ZBPwY0oqz9nral70UO3sjUogZkBcKg_b4K-lleD025g1jm-RvnYgfW68gKGCkddAki10Zh-sEjnAAmcFeswV71aAR1KCQZMioaHo/s1600/Romans-7.15-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyQS3ZBMeDDrjXC2hzFNPtTJpcM-J6TsC9EQWpDC_ZBPwY0oqz9nral70UO3sjUogZkBcKg_b4K-lleD025g1jm-RvnYgfW68gKGCkddAki10Zh-sEjnAAmcFeswV71aAR1KCQZMioaHo/s320/Romans-7.15-17.jpg" width="320" /></a>Romans 7: 15 - 24 says, <span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 22px;"><b>"</b></span></span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary.</span></span><br />
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<span class="text Rom-7-17-Rom-7-20" id="en-MSG-12042" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">But I need something </span><i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;">more</i><span style="line-height: 24px;">! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t </span><i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;">do</i><span style="line-height: 24px;"> it. I decide to do good, but I don’t </span><i style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;">really</i><span style="line-height: 24px;"> do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;"> </span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?" </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">I read this passage and man it really hit me. This is exactly how I feel. "What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise!" YES!!! This is so true! I don't want to act in a way that leads someone I trust to have to sit down and point out my flaws, but I do! And what is so bad is I knew what they were going to say, I wasn't surprised! SO then why do I act that way??? And yes, it is true, I know the law, I know what God's command says, but yet I keep sabotaging my best intentions! Why??? So I feel very much like the end of this passage states, "I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope." Where do I go from here? Where do I go from the place of I know what to do, but yet I do what I don't want to do. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">Well, thankfully verse 24 is not the last verse, there is a verse 25. Romans 7:25, "</span><span style="line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different." </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Jesus, Jesus knows the answer, Jesus is the answer. When I feel at the end of my rope, and question who can help me... the answer is Jesus can. </span></span></div>
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1. He paid the price for my sin. So while I get so frustrated and hate myself for my sin, because of what Jesus did in dying for my sin, I can know that God does not hate me. And I can still spend eternity in heaven with Him. (This doesn't mean I should ignore the fact that I sin however, I should still try to improve...) </div>
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2. Jesus is there to comfort when I just don't know what to do I can pour my heart out to Him, and he will answer. Jesus knows, he has been God in the flesh. He knows what it is like to have to fight sin. </div>
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3. Lastly, I don't have to be perfect... Jesus was the only perfect person. I need to stop focusing on myself, and more on what God is doing in me for others. </div>
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Romans 8:5-8 says, "<span style="line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored." </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisOvr020c1dArS8IT-3zGiDYMn1OZz1xmRhyphenhyphenO48K5Bg0yKnWP7oUB08goXsTx-Lqdu5xDD_cezXnmoP0BV3s9uJaEpmMwU0E73giNZ10DylVqdzTKX6tWUynzDALdVpwHPI4deiV4jzyg/s1600/romans-8-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisOvr020c1dArS8IT-3zGiDYMn1OZz1xmRhyphenhyphenO48K5Bg0yKnWP7oUB08goXsTx-Lqdu5xDD_cezXnmoP0BV3s9uJaEpmMwU0E73giNZ10DylVqdzTKX6tWUynzDALdVpwHPI4deiV4jzyg/s1600/romans-8-5.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">I don't have to try to focus on fixing myself, I need to be focused on God. I need to remember that God's Spirit is in me... and think what it is God wants me to be doing. The Bible is clear about what I should be doing in my relationship with my husband, in my relationship with my kids, in my work, in all that I do. </span></span></div>
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Romans 8:12 - 14 goes on to say, <span style="line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life. God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go!" </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">It is time to give my stubborn, I am going to do this my way, attitude a funeral. I have a new life, I have had a new life since I acknowledged that God sent his son Jesus to die for my sins and I said I want to follow you for the rest of my life and bring glory to your name. So, then why do I let this part of me live that I know should have died so long ago. </span></div>
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So it is time for a funeral. It is time to say, What is it you want God? Even if it hurts...(I mean dying is never pain free... someone whether the deceased of those left behind feel some sort of pain)... even if it means that I will have to let go of some things that I have been clinging to for awhile.... the stubborn, do it my way, do it myself attitude has got to be buried, and the do it God's way has got to be born and cared for and grown. </div>
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My way may be all adventurous, but to truly be beautiful, God's way has to be a part of the journey too. </div>
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New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-83396719064378642132016-01-24T16:26:00.000-08:002016-01-24T16:45:02.499-08:00I lost 15 pounds in 20 days!!!! The end of my juice reboot has come! I have been juicing for the last 21 days and I feel amazing!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBVyK4O8UZh3wB6CT-ENHPFVmHA9PQKHnI8JLS_4JHP-xYMi9YtNlYTpgpDjyQzpKxsNrLWNJBS1JgxRNRLSinXRNmssSsuABOHNIwfswpkPJgVr2UyzmG92bdKqeZCw3tAOXOn3o8Xc/s1600/375x321_lose_weight_fast_how_to_do_it_quickly_ref_guide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHBVyK4O8UZh3wB6CT-ENHPFVmHA9PQKHnI8JLS_4JHP-xYMi9YtNlYTpgpDjyQzpKxsNrLWNJBS1JgxRNRLSinXRNmssSsuABOHNIwfswpkPJgVr2UyzmG92bdKqeZCw3tAOXOn3o8Xc/s200/375x321_lose_weight_fast_how_to_do_it_quickly_ref_guide.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
1. I am proud of myself for sticking to the juice! (Thank you to my friends (you know who you are) who kept me going when I was sure I was ready to quit!)<br />
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2. All the symptoms I was having of just feeling awful are gone! All the reasons I was going to the doctor before are no longer there! I would like to get my blood checked again in a few weeks to see if I am still having an issue blood work wise, but I feel completely back to my old self and even better than before!<br />
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3. I have made huge strides toward one of my 2016 goals! I have lost 15 lbs (about 7kg for my metric friends)! I still would like to loose another 21 lbs (about 9.5 kg). So, I have set another goal for myself of losing that by my 31st Birthday! (September 3, 2016 if you didn't know).<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhSrky0v8hPp1ISQn1VzGEJL3xYsgapaRX_s7LJyeOq4-J645W29YviJu1F-9kI8794ll80RDQuN7M_oXUlTDy99L9y6Ln7IPzSD-iTsLy7pLvrUGP0qrxMUS4shM15FXowRkPdAU6Qo/s1600/kiri+bath.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguhSrky0v8hPp1ISQn1VzGEJL3xYsgapaRX_s7LJyeOq4-J645W29YviJu1F-9kI8794ll80RDQuN7M_oXUlTDy99L9y6Ln7IPzSD-iTsLy7pLvrUGP0qrxMUS4shM15FXowRkPdAU6Qo/s320/kiri+bath.jpeg" width="320" /></a>So, how did it go? For the most part the 21 days was easy. I was never hungry (except the one day I didn't have the juice I was allowed to have, so 'duh' I should be hungry). After the first few days I didn't really have terrible cravings, other than craving chewing! The foods I wanted most.... kiribath and lunu miris (milk rice and chili/onion sambol... doesn't it look amazing!) and a banana! And I will be honest... I plan to eat both those things pretty soon this week!<br />
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The hard parts... prepping all the veggies and fruits for juicing. Just the planning involved took some work. And cooking dinner for my kids every night and packing their lunches and making their breakfast. There are so many times when I would normally have a bite here, lick a spoon there, lick my finger here.... I mean it is crazy! I didn't realize how bad it was until I stopped myself every single time. The smells were really hard... fresh pizza, hot bread, brownies, teriyaki meatballs... Every where I turned I smelled food... but you know what, I am currently sitting in Starbucks and normally the smell of coffee would drive me insane! I would have to have a cup of coffee and not just plain black coffee but a Carmel Macchiato and of course I always got nonfat milk and sugar free syrup to watch the calories, but really did I need it... NO! And now that smell of coffee, I barely notice it. There is nothing in me that says get that coffee...As I write this, I am enjoying the last juice of my 21 days and a hot herbal tea. AND I feel COMPLETELY satisfied. The Cupcake store around the corner... no temptation anymore. The smell of the pizza place outside... no temptation.<br />
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That has been the best part about this I think. I have done all kinds of diets, cleanses, watching what I eat, counting calories etc... and I have never been able to kick the cravings like this did for me. I think because sugar was always a part of those things, or coffee, or caffeine, or they only lasted 3 days, or not long enough. I decided to go past the initial 15 days because I was feeling so good, and I chose 21 days because they say it takes 21 days to break a habit. And wow, did I have some habits to break!<br />
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Each day involved a breakfast juice, coconut water as a mid morning snack, a lunch juice, an afternoon snack juice, a dinner juice and a dessert juice. However, there were most days I didn't have the dessert juice, and some days I only had 3 juices. I was full more than I ever thought I would be. I also juiced things I never thought I would! Beets... let me tell you... I don't like Beets! But now, I think they have grown on me... I kinda like em. Cabbage... Really... juicing cabbage? But it turned out okay! I of course had my favorite juices, but there were only 1 or 2 that I just couldn't stomach. Overall, they were all pretty tasty!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC6U7cF-G__Lo8hRE14rJp2If6tsTCuoEKfnCFNyDI5Pko3SctgwOVob8Jeyc6rQOUlb9_7pUSyyTJqJKO5sjXBJrQJvMLb0nhUEe9KkAHdjXTWfZlKQqlsLE0T2ixAzHPxGWwO4bJ-Lc/s1600/juicing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC6U7cF-G__Lo8hRE14rJp2If6tsTCuoEKfnCFNyDI5Pko3SctgwOVob8Jeyc6rQOUlb9_7pUSyyTJqJKO5sjXBJrQJvMLb0nhUEe9KkAHdjXTWfZlKQqlsLE0T2ixAzHPxGWwO4bJ-Lc/s400/juicing.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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So where do I go from here? Well I have decided a few things.<br />
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1. I feel so good now, I don't want to lose this. So I will be avoiding dairy, meat, processed foods and grains, added sugar, and junk. Will it be forever? For some of those things... yes... for others no.<br />
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2. This week will be a transition period. Tomorrow I won't be just jumping right in to eating again... breakfast will be a smoothie, I will still have coconut water for my midmorning snack, I will have juice for lunch and my afternoon snack, and dinner... exciting steamed veggies! The rest of the week I will slowly add in some foods other than fruits and veggies. Lentils, Rice, Nuts, Eggs, Beans, Almond Milk, Coconut Milk... but I will be staying away from those foods mentioned above.<br />
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3. I think I will add in fish in a month or so. But I plan to stay away from other meats for the time being. (We will see how long this lasts!)<br />
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4. Staying away from the added sugar in things will be hard. It is in everything, but kicking the sugar addiction is one of the things I am so grateful for. So, while it will be hard, I plan to do everything in my power to avoid this one. Dairy will be hard (not as hard as sugar), but it's another I plan to avoid as long as possible.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE7fhh1Hfmat0JL4XqRJfg5LQ1V1Dy60mcMHBUrNaVxx1i-rfGDD5hfu59CR96CFVaBMDiWzEroeKoRFQXGt6xm8ibfBEhgvH5kyXzpQv0SH2MhdmRmrb4Jh8PNv7ehuvuQmWq6nP5DnM/s1600/believe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE7fhh1Hfmat0JL4XqRJfg5LQ1V1Dy60mcMHBUrNaVxx1i-rfGDD5hfu59CR96CFVaBMDiWzEroeKoRFQXGt6xm8ibfBEhgvH5kyXzpQv0SH2MhdmRmrb4Jh8PNv7ehuvuQmWq6nP5DnM/s1600/believe.jpg" /></a>5. The processed foods, well convenience foods have always been a part of my life. Especially since having kids. There is something so easy about grabbing a bag of snacks and going. But, I think that is where I ran into a problem. I started compromising what foods were ok and what foods weren't because the food was easy. But now, I spent half of Saturday shopping and prepping food for kids lunches and meals this week... and then I spent all afternoon today doing the same thing. Is it easy? No. But will I be grateful that I spent time cutting veggies and fruit now, and making my own grab and go packages of healthy foods... YES! I will be so thankful because it saves time, but also because I know the food I will be eating is good for me....<br />
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Ultimately, while there were some really tough days... I am so glad I committed to 21 days of juicing. I don't want this to be just some "thing" I did... I want it to be a life changing moment. One where I look back 20 years from now (hopefully 20 lbs lighter!) and say... that was one of the moments that changed my life. That moment made me a healthier person who has more energy for her family and friends... who a has a long time left to enjoy this beautiful journey.<br />
<br />New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-53466182838735967622016-01-08T12:38:00.003-08:002016-01-08T12:38:31.376-08:00When Life Gives You Lemons... Make Green Juice! One of my goals for 2016 is to lose some weight and get in better physical shape! I have been working on this goal for a few years now, and I am constantly going up and down. Well the last 4 months or so I have been steadily gaining weight, and just not feeling well. I have had some medical tests come back showing that things were just not right with me as well. As I kept visiting the doctor, we kept noticing issues in my blood work, but nothing that pointed to a definite diagnosis. <div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJdAyezbx7Sy7-xDlqg6oTR0Nk1QaAbCIgirdE3YyvG0HT_MOYaatROqgqv5wbT6hyphenhyphenolySaIf7674_Vy8uL-dHF_1nKnSOCOER0OM2Ma6zFh6cwMeREl4LV_bYYuRgIoA9YR8uoWOJmI0/s1600/Juice+Quote2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJdAyezbx7Sy7-xDlqg6oTR0Nk1QaAbCIgirdE3YyvG0HT_MOYaatROqgqv5wbT6hyphenhyphenolySaIf7674_Vy8uL-dHF_1nKnSOCOER0OM2Ma6zFh6cwMeREl4LV_bYYuRgIoA9YR8uoWOJmI0/s400/Juice+Quote2.jpg" /></a></div>
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As the doctor threw medicinal solutions at me and said, "I don't know if this will for sure fix your problem, but let's just try it." I asked myself... "do I want to be some medical guinea pig?" I didn't want to just try some medicine as a shot in the dark... especially if we didn't have a conclusive diagnosis... so I started doing some reading (I am sure doctors hate google!)... and I came across a website... Reboot With Joe. </div>
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Joe made a documentary called, Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and wrote I book. I watched the film, read the book, and began thinking about all the things he said. It wasn't something I had never heard before, but it was the first time I had seen the information presented in that way. So, Joe's idea was to juice for 60 days. He had some health issues and well... was just Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. While I may not be what someone would consider Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead... I am slightly overweight and feel totally bleh most of the time. So Joe's results really made me curious. After Juicing only for 60 days Joe felt great! He looked great! He was off his medicine and was just doing great! And he had inspired me to see if this could be something I could do. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCaIkrl-ZTsaMjNxCUQztB5mOzUjmzIzgPWUYOIPJ1lwU8dmXIfg57JgEMnGuJ6JT-AfGwGjIHTo3SVoYV1Wau26brHqCPNlyhoe1Vri2JJFTZYEmjYN1Cxzx7f3hLkbQmXJKzKcYcctY/s1600/juice+Quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCaIkrl-ZTsaMjNxCUQztB5mOzUjmzIzgPWUYOIPJ1lwU8dmXIfg57JgEMnGuJ6JT-AfGwGjIHTo3SVoYV1Wau26brHqCPNlyhoe1Vri2JJFTZYEmjYN1Cxzx7f3hLkbQmXJKzKcYcctY/s400/juice+Quote.jpg" /></a></div>
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The idea behind a Juice Reboot is to reboot your system. We fill our bodies with so much processed junk and sugar and just way to much food! So by rebooting and drinking only fruit and vegetable juice then the body can stop going crazy trying to process a whole lot of junk that we aren't even designed to process and start to remember what it's like to process food the right way again... (that's my super short explanation... check out www.rebootwithjoe.com for the whole scoop). </div>
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Well then, I was ready to give this a shot after I read the book and watched the film. I mean I had tried everything else I could, and I knew I wanted to try something and not just feel like I was getting no where. While a 60 day reboot would be somewhat extreme especially for me, starting with a 15 or 30 day reboot was much more manageable and according to the book, ok to try without a doctor's supervision. So I recruited my Dad (always one of my biggest fans and supporters) and watched the film with him and we decided we would both give the 15 day Reboot plan a try and then see how 15 days went before deciding whether to go longer. My biggest hopes for what I wanted out of the 15 days was to lose some weight (not gain anymore!) and to see a significant difference in how I felt (ex. more energy, less symptoms I have been experiencing etc.). I was ready to get started! </div>
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So then what does a 15 day Reboot look like? The idea is strictly fruits and vegetables. No sugar, No grains, No Dairy, No Meat.... All things I love!!!! But also where I have gotten into trouble eating so many things that just really aren't good for my body! The Reboot begins with a 5 day transition period. Which I wasn't sure how I felt about at first. I kind of just wanted to jump right in to juice, but the plan suggested starting with some soups and salads as well to ease into the juice only diet. Then the last 10 days is juice only, and if continuing with days 16 - 30, those days would also be juice only. </div>
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How has the Reboot been going? Well, I am on day 5 of the 15 days. This day brings about the end of the transition period. I have really enjoyed the transition period even though I wasn't sure how I felt about it. The vegetable soups and the salads have been so good! I am glad to have these ideas to add to my arsenal of recipes for after the Reboot is over! Generally, the day has begun with 8oz of hot water with lemon and ginger, then Breakfast has been a smoothie made with leafy greens and some fruit and water/coconut water. Then mid morning is a juice made with mostly vegetables and fruit... no sugar or anything added but the fruits and vegetables. Then lunch has been soup or salad mostly. I made an acorn squash and apple soup and a green veggie soup... and all the ingredients in the soup are vegetables and some seasoning with vegetable stock. The Green soup is absolutely my favorite!! I will be making it again and again! The afternoon snack is another juice, and dinner is usually soup or salad again. The prep work was a little more daunting then I thought but it was manageable and I have honestly enjoyed everything I have eaten or well... drank. </div>
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After 5 days I wasn't sure what the results would be. Really, I didn't know if I would even make it 5 days. But, I can say I did make it 5 days! Day 1 was tough... I felt sluggish and slow and had a headache. Day 2 was harder... the cravings were hitting me hard. Day 3 - Day 5 have just been getting better and better. I feel better, I don't feel as tired as I had been feeling before I started the Juice Reboot, and believe it or not I am not hungry. I thought with just fruits ad vegetables and juice I would be starving! SO, what about the weight loss... well on day 5 I have lost 5 lbs! I know that it comes from making such a drastic change and water weight and blah blah blah... but you know for me this is huge. I have been doing everything I can the last 4 months to lose weight and just gaining, and to actually do something and have lost some weight is a huge motivator for me! Maybe I have just woken up my metabolism enough that I can keep making a positive change. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqZvnO8CmInenFC510D53mNKGyWt3ND3JKUdsfVCXce0q7nNR2iu0hZcuClhs5fVgcd4vOm8nYI48KQUeMC49xGXIrj7G5peHzPyNhQspYcY-SvjQkpaRqJbmYMTs6kMfCdq5WfVJotk/s1600/tumblr_mz9jl4Rmp61qzoje0o1_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCqZvnO8CmInenFC510D53mNKGyWt3ND3JKUdsfVCXce0q7nNR2iu0hZcuClhs5fVgcd4vOm8nYI48KQUeMC49xGXIrj7G5peHzPyNhQspYcY-SvjQkpaRqJbmYMTs6kMfCdq5WfVJotk/s320/tumblr_mz9jl4Rmp61qzoje0o1_1280.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Things I have learned from this first 5 days: </div>
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1. I eat way too many little bites of everything throughout the day. I realized that I am a constant grazer! When I make the kids breakfast, I take a little bite. When I pack lunches, I take a little bite. When I walk through the house and see food, I take a little bite. And often I do it without even thinking!</div>
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2. I crave sugar like an addict! Breaking this addiction of sugar is going to be huge! I love sweets and chocolate and baked goods and all kinds of things! I love to cook them and I love to eat them. While these things are ok in moderation I think the problem becomes when out body craves them and we can't say no or we don't recognize when we have had enough. What has been hard about this is we just came out of the Holiday season and my house still has all kinds of treats laying around. Walking past the treats and not having one is soooooo difficult, but I have managed it so far and the cravings are definitely less intense. </div>
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3. Eating food is connected to my emotions. I am an emotional eater. There is something satisfying about eating certain foods. The feelings I get when I eat some foods is what I am addicted too more than the food itself. So many things that aren't good for me are like comfort food, or what I like to eat on a bad day, and I realize that it becomes my go to solution. I tell myself that I deserve it or that I don't have time to make something healthy so I use my go to comfort food solution as a quick and easy option, and then I fill my body with junk. This is the hardest habit to break. I want to eat so many things that I absolutely know I shouldn't and even 5 days in not busting out the chips and salsa, or eating a slice of pizza or my favorite fast food meal is difficult. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDnM_iB3AqqNXUlO7NIm2sRd8zmKTr35hJ0_iqd36pDMS7LqeXRQsloia9iHKcZBUGJtUFL-QNlkZji5nyQEXo0Q-UYYq8u-ZvrqiRMCAvCNxWjtPeTnbr6uPJaRIXBof7tjOP8G7nrQ/s1600/12443247_1668589766756277_1583906415_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDDnM_iB3AqqNXUlO7NIm2sRd8zmKTr35hJ0_iqd36pDMS7LqeXRQsloia9iHKcZBUGJtUFL-QNlkZji5nyQEXo0Q-UYYq8u-ZvrqiRMCAvCNxWjtPeTnbr6uPJaRIXBof7tjOP8G7nrQ/s320/12443247_1668589766756277_1583906415_n.jpg" width="180" /></a>4. I eat because I am bored. Munching on food because I think I am hungry when really I am just bored is something my eyes were really opened to. These last 5 days I have just kept my water bottle near by and when I think I am hungry I drink a bunch of water and realize I wasn't really hungry I was just bored! I also need to clean up my snacking choices to be more plant based things vs. processed things. </div>
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I would say so far this is working. Five days in and I am feeling pretty successful... I loved the quote, "when life gives you lemons... make green juice!" because I feel I had given my life lemons by eating such junk and getting my body to the point I am/was at. So I decided to make some green juice, and it tasted really great! Cheers to the next 10 days! </div>
New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-13515806471845528772016-01-05T07:14:00.000-08:002016-01-05T07:14:56.352-08:00Goodbye 2015 Hello 2016The new year has begun, and with that brings the return to "real life." The school I teach at part time has a unique model and we have had 4 weeks off from school (some students get off 5 weeks!). While I had high hopes of accomplishing so many things for this new semester while we were on vacation... I accomplished very little. While a 4 week break sounds amazing... going back to work is like jumping into a bath of ice water. All of a sudden my system is in shock! I have to get my brain back on track to write lesson plans and create activities. In 2015 I felt super motivated to get school work done and was excited and motivated about what I was teaching. As I sat down on January 1st of 2016 and began looking at the material I would be teaching I feel like I just stared at it for an hour and didn't see anything but a blur of words. I know the more time I spend working on it the more excited I will get about it and the creative juices will start flowing, but it really is like that ice bath... my body is rapidly trying to adjust to a drastic change in temperature and I'm moving at frozen speeds...<br />
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This got me thinking though about what do I hope for this year for me as a teacher. When I went to University I never had any intention of becoming a teacher. As a little kid I never said "When I grow up I want to be a teacher!" Teaching really became a means to an end for Matt and I. We were young marrieds, had a little baby who had just turned 1, and we were graduating from University. We had both been substitute teaching to make extra money, and we needed a job... and we needed it quickly. Teachers were in high demand at the time, so we just sort of fell into the teaching profession. I think I thought it would be something I did temporarily, and here I am 8 years later still teaching. While there are things I really love about teaching, I often wonder what else is coming? Will I always be a teacher, what else will I do in life? My favorite parts of teaching are when I get to challenge the students to think about their lives, and what God has in store for them. I like getting to be creative, but so much of what I do I feel like I am limited to this little box, and anyone who knows me knows I don't like staying in a little box...<br />
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So this year in 2016, I want to discover what else is in store for me. If it is continuing to teach, how am I going to make teaching fit "me" and fit who I am. And if it is something else, how is teaching going to fit with that "something else." I want this year as a teacher to be fun for me. I want to not worry so much about the details of all the requirements that must be done paper work wise, but just enjoy working with the students and have fun with them. I want them to walk out of my class knowing that I care about them, and knowing most importantly that God has a plan so big for their life! As I think about the "how" of this goal I really want to come up with some concrete things I can do to make it happen.<br />
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But not only do I have goals for 2016 in my teaching life. I also have goals for me personally...<br />
1. I want to lose some weight (I know the most cliche new year goal!) but really I want to get healthy. I have been struggling with feeling good lately, and have been having some medical issues and I want to find a way to just feel good again! (More on this to come in next post!)<br />
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2. I want to visit at least 2 places I have never been before. I love seeing new places and I feel like it makes me grow as a person every time I encounter new people and places, so this year the goal is at least 2 places (more is always better).<br />
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3. I also want to read my Bible everyday. I've always read at least one verse a day, but I want to make it a habit to read even more. I would love to really get in the word and memorize scripture more as well. So I will be reading more and memorizing more and for sure it will help me with my other goals as well.<br />
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4. I want to learn Sinhala. There are a lot of languages I would love to learn, but Sinhala will be a start. I have lots of friends who speak it (more than any other language so might as well start here), and so my goal this year is to learn enough Sinhala to be able to have a basic conversation. To be able to hear what others are saying and make an educated guess on what they said... and if I could become somewhat fluent, well I wouldn't be disappointed.<br />
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5. I want to deepen my relationship with my husband and kids. I want to intentionally invest time each day into them. More than just the usual time. I want to make this year a year that we look back on as a husband and wife and as a family and say that was one of our best years ever. Regardless of the punches life throws at us, I want us as husband and wife and as a family to be so close that we feel like nothing could ever separate us.<br />
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I know I have some other goals for this year, and I don't feel quite ready to put them in writing because then it becomes and official goal. As long as it is in my mind floating around I don't have to commit to actually accomplishing it. SO more on all these other goals to come in future posts because well... that is a goal as well... to be more consistent in my blogging. Mainly for me... just to have a place I put down my thoughts so here we go... Welcome to 2016... what beautiful adventures does this year hold.New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-25304741624055657722015-11-19T12:41:00.003-08:002015-11-19T12:41:19.246-08:00Sinking Ships... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I read this recently... "Ships don't sink because of the water AROUND them. Ships sink because of the water that gets IN them. Don't let what's happening around you get inside you and weigh you down."<br />
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Right now I think it would be really easy to let all the things happening in the world get inside of me and weight me down. I always want to do whatever I can to help people in need and I love to give... my time, my money, my things, just give... With all the events of the past few weeks and all the chaos that is always happening in our world, there is often a lot of opportunity for me to give. But when I am placed in situations when I am giving to those in need, I am also exposed to incredible heartache. And that heartache often gets me down because I can't do all that I would like to do to help the people in need. So, as I watch things happening in the world, and the people that are being so abused and mistreated and the people just in need of basic human rights and human needs, I have to not let it get in and sink my ship, but I also have to be careful to not ignore what is happening. I have to look for ways to get involved and help where I can.<br />
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There is also a lot of negativity going around right now. People are expressing so much hatred towards one another right now. There are many different opinions about the things that are happening in our world and which side is right or wrong, or the best way for countries to intervene or not intervene. And I could express my opinion on that and what I feel like should be done, but to be honest, I am not in a position to make decisions, and I am seeing so much dissension over these issues... It is incredibly sad that we let the actions of a few evil people come in and divide us and then those issues divide us again and again until we have forgotten that we are all humans... we are all the same on the inside... God created us all equally and we let the color of someone's skin, the place they are from, the language they speak, the religion they practice... whatever it is... keep us from seeing them as a creation of the one true God, keeps us from seeing them as a person with the very same needs as ourselves... So regardless of how I believe the situations in the world should be handled at the moment, I have to be careful to keep the negativity out... or it is going to sink my ship...<br />
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I also love that quote because while there may be a lot of... just mess... happening all around me all the time... I think it is God who can help me keep my ship afloat... He is what has made my ship waterproof... He keeps the mess out... and when I spring a leak... well He is the one who can patch it. Because the mess will get into my life, there is no doubt about that. The question is when the mess does get in my life how do I handle it and who do I turn too. 1. I think that if I continually pursue God and make Him first in my life then I can avoid letting a lot of the mess in to begin with, but when it does get in because the world we live in is infected with sin... well 2. I can know from the experience I have with God that he will handle the situation. I can't worry about the what if's... I mean honestly... what is the worst that could happen to me.. I could die... and would that really be so bad? I know I will spend eternity in heaven that is not a bad place to be. I know I would leave my family without me, but if I were to die, God would know it... it wouldn't be something He hadn't already planned... so should't I trust Him enough to know that if He felt it was time for me to leave this earth He would make sure to provide for my family?<br />
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So, if I know these things... there really should be nothing that discourages me... nothing that sinks my ship... because I can always trust that God is in control... and as the negativity flies all around right now because of all the mess happening in the world... I can stay positive and look for ways that I can help the hurting and help those who have been forgotten... and show them the love of Jesus through any ways I can help...<br />
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This verse about prayer really stood out to me this week... and just reminded me about how in control God is... because He can do more than I could even imagine... His love is too great to understand, but I am sure glad I have experienced and continue to experience His love... And so I will continue to trust the One who is in control of everything and believe that He will accomplish infinitely more than I could even imagine...<br />
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New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-4392247915760409072015-11-05T08:13:00.002-08:002015-11-05T08:13:27.925-08:00Life... A Daring AdventureHelen Keller said, "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." I sometimes think about my life and wish for a little adventure. It seems that I crave adventure and look for ways to stray from the beaten path. But is that all adventure is? Finding those moments when you are exploring something that seems out of the ordinary? Can I find adventure in my day to day life of being a wife, mom, and teacher? Everyday new things are happening, but I often let them just roll right past me and say that life is just the same old thing every day. I let the busyness of daily life to keep me from appreciating the daily adventures I encounter each day.<br />
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I began thinking recently how can I find the beauty in my day to day when it really just seems so... not beautiful. Particularly the job of being a mom... I spend a lot of time doing things like cleaning toilets, sweeping floors, folding laundry, making lunches... And I began thinking about this life of and title I have of Mom.... How is "mom" adventurous?? How is "mom" beautiful?<br />
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I make a lot of sandwiches...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoblBmDnRKCjt5xyThywa7YupKzkTCerLA-ynKfJ2AmUau9u0VqbvARXBD22PHIgUgnAsMnDi2W0g-F5AMLGukYvW1F3lv0Iqe4SPoWjs_h8PwCTZiOo7xMmq3kXxoI7xz-s4eF8BA0G4/s1600/20151103_114339_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoblBmDnRKCjt5xyThywa7YupKzkTCerLA-ynKfJ2AmUau9u0VqbvARXBD22PHIgUgnAsMnDi2W0g-F5AMLGukYvW1F3lv0Iqe4SPoWjs_h8PwCTZiOo7xMmq3kXxoI7xz-s4eF8BA0G4/s200/20151103_114339_001.jpg" width="200" /></a>I fold a lot of clothes...<br />
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And while those things are some of the boring things of being "mom" I also get<br />
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Midnight kisses when my son thinks it is time to play instead of sleep...<br />
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And I get to read books and snuggle...<br />
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Recently my oldest asked for me to read her a chapter a night of a book before bed. She is perfectly capable of reading on her own, but she wants to do that together. I love getting to read to her. I can introduce her to some of my favorite childhood adventures that inspire me now to want to lead a life full of adventure. We can read and dream together about the worlds we encounter in the books we explore.<br />
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While I may not see much of what I do as mom as very daring or adventurous... each day brings something new with my kids. Moments that if I don't let them just pass me by make my life all that much more beautiful. And each one of those little moments add to what makes my journey beautiful...<br />
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Homework as the sun sets at Dad's soccer practice...<br />
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Smiles because we can kick a soccer ball together...<br />
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These precious moments add up to create a really beautiful journey... that is full of adventure when seen through the eyes of the unique and brilliant children God has placed in my life.<br />
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Ecclesiastes 5:18 - 20 says, "<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">After looking at the way things are on this earth, here’s what I’ve decided is the best way to live: Take care of yourself, have a good time, and make the most of whatever job you have for as long as God gives you life. And that’s about it. That’s the human lot. Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the </span><i style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">now.</i><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> It’s useless to brood over how long we might live." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24px;">I want to make the most of this job I have as wife, mom, teacher, friend... and each day can be a daring adventure as I encounter the beautiful moments that make up my journey... </span></span><br />
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<br />New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-30525467881139674862015-10-30T12:45:00.005-07:002015-10-30T12:45:55.340-07:00Finding Reality I saw this statement recently, "What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be."<br />
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This hit me like a ton of bricks... How many times in my life have I become so upset with the injustices of what I felt like was supposed to be instead of what is actually real. This week I had a discussion in class with my students about how fairy tales and myths affect what we believe, and almost everyone agreed they influence us by shaping what we expect from reality.<br />
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The problem with is we begin to imagine a reality that is very much a fairy tale. What girl doesn't dream of having the life of a Disney Princess, and what boy (or man for that matter) doesn't think they can be like Tony Stark of Ironman. The lives we read about in books, see on TV and in Movies look so real to us as we watch and read about these people and places that have been crafted to be "perfectly imperfect." The girl gets the guy and the castle or if not still ends up finding an amazing sense of empowerment in being a strong independent woman, and then the guy always saves the world, gets the girl, and makes millions of dollars. Good always defeats evil, problems are always solved etc. Even in the inevitable deaths of a Nicholas Sparks book/film there is good; the story may make you cry, but there was love and happiness and such unwavering love that you can't help but cry when that person loses the love of their life. Even in stories like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Star Wars we see such incredible evil, and then we watch how good always triumphs!<br />
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All of these myths, stories, and fairy tales greatly shape the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be. We are supposed to fall in love, never argue, never fight, and if we do it is supposed to resolve itself in a magical 30 minutes - one hour. We are supposed to end up in the fairytale castle with little woodland creatures that come and clean up our messes. Our children are supposed to be great friends, who while they argue and fight still end up best friends who can become crime fighting superheroes who work together to save the world. We picture a world in which we have no pain, we get everything we always hoped for, we can pursue our dreams with no fear of rejection and we will always receive the support we need. Our dream life would allow us to provide for ourselves, our families, our parents and anyone else we want to help. I think we often leave school (high school or University) with this invincible feeling of "I can conquer the world!" and then we encounter a taste of reality and realize this finding a job thing is much harder than I imagined. Or this marriage thing is not what I thought it would be, because this person who could do no wrong when we were dating just really hurt my feelings and doesn't seem to care one bit. Or realize the amazing income we thought we would have is quickly depleted by the necessities of life. We get in a car accident, we get sick, our loved ones get sick, our brothers and sisters drama quickly invade our life when we are supposed to be the mediator between a sibling and parent, or we find out that life just kind of sucks sometimes.<br />
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Not only do we have fairytales shaping our perception of what reality should be, we also have social media. We see people posting about their perfect relationships, and their perfect children, and perfect jobs, and how they are "living the dream!" and say to ourselves what about my dream, what about my relationship, what about my kids, what about my job?<br />
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That is what screws us up we picture these impossible things for our life and when reality meets our dreams we are crushed. As a dreamer I have a really hard time accepting that because I want to be the one who dreams this amazing life and makes it a reality. The problem is I am finding that there are just some things you can't dream into reality. There are those moments in our life where the person we love and dream and pray will be healed dies, and there is the moment when we dream of a job that we have always wanted would happen and we don't get it or we can't make it happen, and there is the moment when we imagine the fairy tale of our home with the prince and the perfect children and don't forget the woodland creatures cleaning the house just doesn't happen. So, as a dreamer I am left with a bit of a conundrum.<br />
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<b>How do I hang on to my idealist personality but still accept that reality is not going to always match my dreams?</b><br />
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I don't want to just quit imagining a better life for me and my family. I don't want to let go of the childhood hopes I had for my future. I want everything to turn out for the best. And I guess I can continue to dream and hope and pray that it does turn out that way, but I know that will mean I am faced with disappointment. I mean a large part of my hopes hinge on humans, and we know humans in their imperfection sinful state will always disappoint. So I have 2 choices really, let go of the dreams and stop being disappointed, or hang onto the dreams and continue to feel the let down of disillusionment.<br />
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I think though I would really like to find an in between place... a place where I can still dream and hope but not be disappointed when what I dream and hope doesn't happen. And I guess that means finding contentment in my reality. Coming to realize that what I have is a good thing even when evil wins (good will eventually prevail), even when people hurt me, even when what I really hoped would happen just isn't going to work, I have to look at what is good and what is right about the reality I am living in. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. When I let myself get so filled with disappointment over the dreams I wish would come true I cheat myself out of enjoying the good I have right in front of me. I also cause those around me to deal with my disappointment because I let it affect me in a negative way, and that causes a spiral of disappointment because my negative mood cause the relationships I want to flourish to suffer, which then leads to even more disappointment and so on and so on...<br />
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So, while I can't control how the people in my life act, and while I know they will continue to disappoint me and cause what I dream to not always come to pass, I CAN control my reactions to my disappointments. I CAN turn to what I know God tells me in Scripture, <em style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;">“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." </em><span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;">Isaiah 55:8-9 What God dreams for me is way better than anything I could dream for myself. And it doesn't mean I am not going to filled with disappointment at times and it doesn't mean my dreams aren't going to be crushed at times, it just means that I HAVE to accept the fact that God is in control even when my life feels so OUT of control. I also have to remind myself that the Bible says, "</span><em style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;">Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."</em><span style="background-color: white; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24.375px;"> Philippians 4:6-7 I love how this verse doesn't say, tell God what you need and thank Him for all he has done, then he will give you all you ask for... No, instead it says "Then you will experience God's peace..." Disappointment will still come... dreams will not become reality, but there can still be peace... peace in a God who loves me and truly does have a plan for my life. </span><br />
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SO...<br />
I am going to stop letting the picture in my head, of how things are supposed to be, screw me up, and realize there is no picture. THIS is how it is supposed to be. It is like an Etch-A-Sketch, the picture keeps changing with every turn of the knob, and sometimes someone or something is going to come along and shake that picture until nothing is left and a new picture has to be created all together. I don't want to allow disappointment to cloud that new picture, I will always dream of blue skies and a life in which all my hopes are fulfilled, but I am also going to roll a little more with the punches and do whatever I can to stop living in my head and find reality right where I am...<br />
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<br />New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-27792880473675620772015-09-03T16:49:00.002-07:002021-03-19T20:09:16.001-07:00Thirty is an attitude... Its official... I am 30. And as this birthday has approached I have often thought, "I feel like I should have been 30 a long time ago," but then I also think, "how is it possible I am 30 years old when I still feel like I am a teenager some of the time." This year not only brings my 30th birthday, and my middle child turns 5 years old. At 30 I have an 8 year old, an almost 5 year old, and a 3 year old. It sort of feels like I should be 30.<br />
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I know so many people who dread getting older, or who do the whole I am 20 for the 2nd time... or I am 29.95 plus tax... etc. And while yes, I can commiserate with the whole getting older feeling, but I also think we really should be celebrating and proud of each year that passes. Why do we so often hide the age we are instead of looking at each year that passes as one more year in which we can say, "I learned a lot this year, and here is what I am going to take from it." Or why not look back on the year and say, "I am so grateful for these things!" and keep adding to that list every year. Each year we get older should just be another jewel in our crown, because each year holds beautiful memories, moments, lessons, and hardships. And yes, even those hardships are beautiful, because without each one of the things that happens in our life, we wouldn't be able to grow a little stronger or a little wiser and who doesn't want to grow stronger and wiser. <br />
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So, going forward into 30, I look back and think about what did I learn this year and what I am grateful for.<br />
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Well, the first thing I learned was I am striving more and more to be a better wife and mom. And how is it possible for me to do this. Well, it comes from simplifying my life and my family life. The conversation in our house has become what can we cut so we can have more time at home and with each other. I have started thinking about ways I can better manage my time, and this summer I started putting things in place to help me do that, and as school has started I have been working to make those plans fit in to the craziness of our school schedule. <br />
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Second, I learned I am in love with a little island and it's people. I made my first trip to Sri Lanka when I was 28, but the following 3 were made while I was 29, and I am about to make my 5th trip. I can honestly say, the place, the people, the food, they have taken a small place in my heart. And I am so grateful for all teh of the friendships and relationships I have built. I am grateful that God has allowed me to connect with this place. I could not imagine my life without these people. However, that as also taught me another lesson on loving and loving well, and loving unconditionally, and sharing my love. It is very easy to pour all of our energy into one thing at the expense of another, and I have realized I can't love Sri Lanka and cheat other things and people in my life just as much as I can't love other areas of my life and cheat Sri Lanka and the people who mean so much to me there. So it's about finding balance and making loving each important part of my life in just the right ways for them, and it won't be an overnight accomplishment, but I can work to find just the right balance.<br />
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Third, I learned I am not as bad of a teacher as I thought I was. While I may not be good at teaching all the details of a subject I am good at showing students how to be passionate about following God's plan for your life, and about loving people. And not being afraid to figure out who you are. I learned that I do need to work on certain aspects of teaching in order to better communicate with the students the information they need to learn, but also showing them I love them and care about them and want to see them succeed no matter what happens. Which leads me to another lesson I learned: I can be overly critical of myself, but not in a perfectionist sort of way... more in a way that I see how things should be and I don't think I meet that standard. This really affects my teaching in a way that when anyone says something I take it as criticism and don't take the feedback in a way that would just help me improve.<br />
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Last, (well not really last, I did learn other things, but last for this post) I learned that I function so much better when I take time for my relationship with God and my own personal growth and mental/physical health. When I make sure I have that time, it really gives me more energy to give to the other people in my life. This gives me more to grateful for, especially grateful for my husband, who lets me have nights to go the movies free of kids, or lets me go sit and have a coffee completely alone to focus on time with God, time for school or things that just allow me to grow for me. Or the time to go ride my bike and get exercise when kids are refusing to stay in bed! <br />
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So in learning these things, it has helped me decide on a few goals for this next year and what I hope year 30 will bring me.<br />
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1. More time with my husband and kids.<br />
2. More time at home so I can feel better about how the house is running.<br />
3. Work on listening to my husband more and communicating better so that we can continue to have another successful 10 years.<br />
4. Balance my love for my family, my friends, Sri Lanka etc. by not cheating one to give time to another.<br />
5. Take feedback I get and make it positive and beneficial to growth.<br />
6. Continue to share what God has made me passionate about with the students I am impacting and the people in my life.<br />
7. Find time for my relationship with God and strengthening myself mentally, spiritually, and physically.<br />
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I really want to embrace being 30 and I look at this as a new decade beginning in which I will be able to grow and learn even more about who God made me (that is never going to be finished), and a new decade for making relationships with my family even stronger (my kids are out of the baby years now, so this next 10 years will usher all of them into the teen years!), another decade of discovering I really did marry my best friend, and another decade for living my life to the fullest enjoying each beautiful adventure that comes my way. New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-88660458272904754592015-09-01T21:13:00.001-07:002015-09-01T21:13:27.057-07:00Dying to Self So, it has been a long time since I posted! This summer has been an adventure to say the least! June I was busily preparing for the school year and spending as much time with my kids as possible, and July brought a family vacation and an amazing two week trip for me to Sri Lanka. I am so in love with that place and the people, and a few of the people in particular are a part of my family now, and I can't imagine my life with out them!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyFYrit5pP3EftywDcVHCULPkGf3nJR0iLiNaUw8tFajCWEUqJg7hj-bpttX_XUHXpvKq-KgOgHGvf4RrRq5ViJFoNDNRc4UtWGzMzHdQ0NlJQS68Zk9qUv5z_ZA3MH2FEH5SYaCQs2g/s1600/20150724_135743-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUyFYrit5pP3EftywDcVHCULPkGf3nJR0iLiNaUw8tFajCWEUqJg7hj-bpttX_XUHXpvKq-KgOgHGvf4RrRq5ViJFoNDNRc4UtWGzMzHdQ0NlJQS68Zk9qUv5z_ZA3MH2FEH5SYaCQs2g/s200/20150724_135743-1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia86fGofbbw7OFd4x7JFYXl2RzgsfpaqhhDacxtGIqtOp0jEvC3PchTBwS8vmiAlxhPBkOQy_RMaOgjUsduN8G22L6AiSLXbqFEyT-iP7MZoCdD9NdH0xVhc8OlRRhKjguj45KS6SrlGg/s1600/20150724_065821-1-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="92" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia86fGofbbw7OFd4x7JFYXl2RzgsfpaqhhDacxtGIqtOp0jEvC3PchTBwS8vmiAlxhPBkOQy_RMaOgjUsduN8G22L6AiSLXbqFEyT-iP7MZoCdD9NdH0xVhc8OlRRhKjguj45KS6SrlGg/s200/20150724_065821-1-1.jpg" width="200" /></a>Then August brought the start of school, and that meant lots of adjustments in schedule and life and just getting back into a routine. I have lots to write about things I learned and experienced this summer, but this post has been on my mind for a while.<br />
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Today was a very interesting day however, and will generate a post very soon about how amazing our friends are, and about how maybe there are times it takes God intervening for us to realize we may need to slow down! So, stay tuned for more folks, because this journey is just getting more and more beautiful by the day.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiAUBHlXT8k6rzkNuNWxE1FejnlzxPjdGSpbl_AwopSyc_uJYtPwDFrO5msj6Rly3lg-S9zFNrbLq4S7C6PTAvr8AJHD8G2HDBQhJKqg_haFnjy7PyJ_E04P1npv1obFXxwQm3mcVCXl4/s1600/FB_IMG_1439935619642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiAUBHlXT8k6rzkNuNWxE1FejnlzxPjdGSpbl_AwopSyc_uJYtPwDFrO5msj6Rly3lg-S9zFNrbLq4S7C6PTAvr8AJHD8G2HDBQhJKqg_haFnjy7PyJ_E04P1npv1obFXxwQm3mcVCXl4/s320/FB_IMG_1439935619642.jpg" width="320" /></a>This quote came across my Facebook news feed about a month ago and I instantly saved it. I have been contemplating it ever since. I have had several thoughts about on a few different levels. First, spiritually and how I have to die a little inside and be reborn in Christ. Second, relationally particularly in relation to my husband and how I need to die a little in order to follow his lead better and wisely work together vs against each other. And third, personally as I think about the transformation process I go through as I become older and wiser.<br />
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As I thought about the idea of dying a little inside in order to be reborn, I couldn't help but think about what Christ did for me on the cross. Because Jesus died on the cross for my sins I have to die to the sinful way of human nature, and then I have to be reborn in Christ which does make me wiser and stronger. The Bible says in Romans 6: 6 - 11, "<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030">Could it be any
clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the cross with Christ, a
decisive end to that sin-miserable life—no longer at sin’s every beck
and call! What we believe is this: If we get included in Christ’s
sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving
resurrection. We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a
signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the
last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he
brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a
dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue,
and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That’s
what Jesus did." This clearly represents this idea of dying on the inside in order to be reborn stronger and wiser and more like Christ. My problem tends to be sometimes that I can't seem to kill of that sin on the inside. I like to hang on to it a little too much at times, but what I liked about this quote is that it really made me think. If I just kill off that sinful part (which will never completely go away, but I can stop hanging on to some of it), then I will become an even stronger and wiser me, more and more like Christ, which is my goal to bring glory to God in being worthy of being called a daughter of God. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030"><br /></span>
<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030">I continued to think about how this idea of dying a little on the inside to be stronger spread to other parts of my life besides just spiritually. And I realized in my relationship with my husband was one for sure. There are so many times that I am extremely stubborn, it kind of is just part of who I am, but when it comes to my relationship with him, the bible is clear that he is the leader of our home. Sometimes, I can push and push and push or just not let an issue drop because the answer he has given doesn't quite satisfy what I was hoping to hear. And that is when I have to stop and die a little on the inside and tell myself (particularly tell the stubborn self centered part of myself) he is the leader, listen to him, and trust that he is leading in the right way. I have to die a little on the inside so I can put his needs and our children's needs before mine. Not in a die inside and lose who I am and be a door mat that they walk all over, but die on the inside so that in my self-sacrifice I can become wiser and stronger and kinder to the people God has placed in my home, and trusted me to love here on earth. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030"><br /></span>
<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030">Then, that brought me to thinking about myself, and how I am in a daily struggle to be stronger and be wiser, but often the way I go about doing that is not by looking in, but focusing only on the outward methods of training, when really if I did focus on the end, I would be dying a little on the inside so I can be reborn into something stronger and wiser. The idea is to let those things inside that need to die go and not just sweep them under the rug, but officially take those things out of my life, and begin to focus on building myself up spiritually, relationally, and professionally. </span><br />
<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030"><br /></span>
<span class="text Rom-6-6-Rom-6-11" id="en-MSG-12030">I've decided to embrace this idea for the rest of the year. I want to have a goal of dying a little on the inside each day so that by the end of the year I can be stronger, and wiser, and hopefully more capable of being able to bring glory to God, my father. </span>New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-43691954125702980532015-06-08T10:39:00.001-07:002015-06-08T10:42:43.224-07:00One word can change everything...So, I find that what people say can have a drastic affect on me. That whole saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" saying is a totally wrong. Sometimes all it takes to steal my joy is one word, one sentence from someone and I can go from being on top of the world to seeming like someone pulled the rug out from under my feet and I've fallen hard.<br />
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What's so crazy is I realize this and I still let myself be so affected by the words some people say. Generally I find its either something someone I really care about said or something someone said about WHAT I really care about. What's so crazy is that I will sit and stew and think and over think and analyze what was said and let it completely take away any positive feelings I had about whatever it is they commented on. And I guess I should clarify. If someone says something positive I'm like "oh cool thanks!" And I move on with life. But if what is said is even remotely negative it can bring me down so fast and really affect my mood and excitement and honestly can even make me want to make drastic changes to plans and even life in general.<br />
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So, I have realized 3 things:<br />
1. The opinion that truly matters is God's opinion. He created me the way I am and loves me and all my perfect imperfections. And even though I sin and screw up he will still love me. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus." Galatians 2:20 says, "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but
Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by
faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." And 1 Corinthians 10:21 says, " So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." So it really comes down to no matter what anyone else says, I have to look at myself and say, "Are you bringing glory to God." If not, well then maybe that person is right and I need to rethink my choices, but if I am then I need to let the comment role off my back and move on already.<br />
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2. I gotta lighten up! Really, one comment by someone (even if it is someone I care a lot about) does not reflect everything they feel, and by my over-analyzing it, all I am doing is putting words in their mouth that they never even said. Which is really unfair on my part. And if it really does bother me than much and I can't just let it go, then I need to just ask them about it instead of sitting around and reading way more into a small comment than I should. <br />
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3. And probably most importantly, when someone really does say something negative to me, I need to remember where my joy comes from. I can't let even genuinely mean or negative comments steal my joy and ruin my day. James 1:2-3, "Consider it pure joy my brothers when you experience trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance." 1 Peter 1:8 -9, "<span class="text 1Pet-1-8" id="en-NLT-30343">You love him even though
you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him;
and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.</span> <span class="text 1Pet-1-9" id="en-NLT-30344">The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls." Romans 15:13, "</span>I
pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy
and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with
confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit." That's what I want more than anything. I want to be so completely filled with joy that I overflow with hope for all to see. If I let someone's words steal that joy, then I am also letting those words steal my hope as well as any hope that could overflow into someone's life as well.<br />
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Going to go forth and live with joy because it makes the journey all the more beautiful. <br />
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<br />New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-73314754397026185712015-06-06T18:37:00.002-07:002021-03-19T19:00:52.856-07:00"A good song is like a good meal..." Haven't posted anything lately. Not for lack of having anything to say necessarily, but more for lack of having the words to say what I really want to say. I think my brain went on mental shut down after the school year ended and everything I have been thinking has been running around my mind like a hamster in a wheel and the hamster just doesn't know when to quit.<br />
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Life has been pretty ordinary lately. Nothing too exciting, and I think that is when I start to think about so many different parts of my life, so needless to say, several posts to come soon.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsh7Iy7s2QP950AfnIjRIo-lhcx3JY-SQMW0dzfLZWtzUHG_MM8rQylTXQJjGJaaL6XWeoO9_l1CYbnbgXcx6EQCaFC5UgiBFt_PujsWwGRczwWTZma_RRyado9NrchfdBorZ2nnuI_Oc/s1600/20150606_203154.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsh7Iy7s2QP950AfnIjRIo-lhcx3JY-SQMW0dzfLZWtzUHG_MM8rQylTXQJjGJaaL6XWeoO9_l1CYbnbgXcx6EQCaFC5UgiBFt_PujsWwGRczwWTZma_RRyado9NrchfdBorZ2nnuI_Oc/s200/20150606_203154.png" width="200" /></a>But today I was struck by something that has been a part of me for a long time, and I can't help but write about it. I love music, I have always enjoyed music and liked listening to music from back in the day when I blasted New Kids on the Block and Paula Abdul cassettes in my room to when I started driving and I used my makeshift stereo system to blare my "Nothing Says I Love You Like Punk Rock" Cds, to now when my musical taste ranges from classical, to pop, to Sinhalese songs, to Hindi songs, to rock, and any other number of musical choices. What I have come to realize is that for me music isn't about the actual music (I know odd), but it's about the words and the memories and the experiences and people tied to the music. A single song can make me laugh, smile, and/or melt into a puddle of tears. <br />
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I am so tone deaf. And I have ZERO rhythm. Which is why my love of music is kinda of odd... I love to dance to, but you have probably never seen me dance, and if you do see me dance its because either you love me A LOT and see me in moments when I am just me, or I love you A LOT because I am willing to dance in public and cast aside all cares about my severe lack of rhythm for you. Now you may have heard me sing, and I apologize now. I know I can't carry a tune to save my life, but there is something about a song I love coming on that sometimes, regardless of whose ears I may be hurting, I can't help but sing. I love being at home and in the car when I can just sing along to all my favorites, which is an extraordinarily long list...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEHJ6wz8bZfWMYzcvSmA1i_EyWTSWhsc6Bn6yHnxoE6IKEcnuOhD1GBfGQCmJ9PT_iziSsnb4vZdlv8lbsRNL5JCr1dAG0H4rJVBUKC2BwdGzue7Umoxx3FoJslS-eJs8KkJV2lnfdzKA/s1600/11069505_1554387718176483_1739132912133575033_n.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEHJ6wz8bZfWMYzcvSmA1i_EyWTSWhsc6Bn6yHnxoE6IKEcnuOhD1GBfGQCmJ9PT_iziSsnb4vZdlv8lbsRNL5JCr1dAG0H4rJVBUKC2BwdGzue7Umoxx3FoJslS-eJs8KkJV2lnfdzKA/s320/11069505_1554387718176483_1739132912133575033_n.jpg" width="320" /></a>So, knowing that it is not the actual instrumental part of the music I love the most, but more the lyrics and memories tied to the music, I have begun to see music and songs as a way of explaining my life. I seriously set music to what I am doing. Like in a movie when a song plays during a scene, its like that for my life. If my life were a movie I have a song for every scene. I can hear a certain song, and its like I am suddenly transported to a completely different time and place. I mean vividly transported. If I shut my eyes I could tell you exactly what I was smelling and tasting and seeing whenever that song had its biggest impact on my life. For example, Norah Jones' "Come away With Me," "Painters Song," "Lonestar," and just about any song from her "Come Away With Me Album" instantly transport me to Bolivar, Missouri, in my sliver Ford Focus with the windows down, and the orange and red fall leaves blowing past my windows as I drive down the street between the dorms. The air is just cool enough and crisp that it brings a slight chill to my skin, but it's just a perfect moment. I could go on describing the scene but when one of those songs come on it is like I am suddenly slammed through time into a completely different place and the memories flood back. It's like that with just about every song I hear. I instantly connect it to some memory, or to a person, and when it comes on it can be an amazing memory and I can laugh about it, smile about, feel sentimental, or cry about the pain, loss, or joy that whatever it was brought me. When I hear the song Oceans I am transported to a beach in Sri Lanka and the amazing moments I have shared with my wonderful creator Lord and the times I have spend in prayer breathing in the spray of the ocean and thanking Him for the beauty around me. <br />
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I also love how a song can so succinctly capture what I am thinking. The lyrics of song can easily express so many feeling within a few lines. Way to go song writers! I find that I catch myself wanting to insert song lyrics into what I am saying, or when someone says something that is also the line from a song I start singing the song in my head. <br />
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<br />New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-3099060599693858242015-05-16T06:12:00.001-07:002015-05-16T06:12:43.545-07:00The Longest School Year Ever... <br />
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With last night's graduation ceremony what seems to be the longest school year ever came to a close. It was a bit emotional watching these students I have come to love cross the stage and begin a new adventure in their life. But it made me also realize that with the closing of this school year I also begin a new adventure. Maybe not as mysterious and unknown as the adventure those 31 students will experience as they embark on the road to University and the rest of their life, but an adventure none the less. </div>
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<a href="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9d/a7/9b/9da79bf66dc70507613b5f44fbe0b9b3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="322" id="irc_mi" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/9d/a7/9b/9da79bf66dc70507613b5f44fbe0b9b3.jpg" style="margin-top: 36px;" width="236" /></a>This school year has seemed to go on forever. I honestly feel like it started 2 years ago. As I look back on the beginning of the year it is hard to believe that some of what happened only happened 9 months ago. 1st it was a long year for me as a teacher. I was working hard to refine my 6th grade curriculum and the creativity it took out of me was incredible. By the end of the year I was done, I honestly could not think of ways to bring life to the curriculum because I had given every bit of my creative juice to the beginning. I began to really lack the attention to details that I felt the class deserved. I was also teaching a brand new subject with my 12th Grade class. While this was incredibly fun, it was also extremely challenging. It was almost like standing at the bottom of a steep mountain climb and trying to climb without any ropes. It was extremely exhilarating with each hunt for a new foot and hand hold, but it was also terrifying at moments and I felt their were times I was just gripping the rock face for dear life as I tried to maintain some sort of control of a curriculum I really had very little familiarity. There were moments of greatness in both class for sure, but the amount of time I spent planning and reading and creating and pouring in emotionally to those classes really took a toll on me. The school year has really left me feeling like an incredibly wrung out dish rag.<br />
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Second, the school year for my 3rd grader seemed really long. Most likely because I did not give the time I should have to paying attention to what she was doing. I have to say, I have one of the most incredible 8 year olds ever. This kid can look at what she has to accomplish, plan out when and what she needs to do, and get it done with very little help from me. While I know I am incredibly luck she is so self-sufficient I feel like a bit of a failure as a co-teacher. I gave very little input into anything she did unless it was crunch time. I mean I never really even helped her study for a test. She still managed to make As on almost every thing she did over all but if I had taken the time (or had the time) to give to her and help her review then I think she could have been even more successful than she was. She has already created a summer plan by the way on how she is going to keep herself on track for next school year and make sure she reviews the material. No help from me, she has created herself a schedule and everything. While that is great for me as a mom, I also know I need to be a bit more active in her learning and make sure I am there when she needs it.<br />
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Third, the school year for my little guys was long. This was probably the best part of the year, but it did seem to not go as planned and turn into a bit of a different picture than I originally drew. Part of this change came from our one car situation. We would drop the kids off at school a bit earlier than I planned, and we would pick them up a bit later than I planned because we were sharing one car and that just makes things take more time often. But it also ties back to my need to spend so much time on school. I feel like too I watch my now 3 and 4 year old change academically in huge ways and change personally. They both have lost that "babyness" and have become little kids. They have made huge strides in development and it has made 9 months seem so much longer than 9 months.<br />
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All around these last 9 months have brought so many changes to my life, I could go on and on with a list of things that changed and made this year just feel sooo long. It also had me wishing for the school year to just be over, so I can honestly say there was a bit of relief at the end of graduation that "yes! this school year is over and I can move forward into another chapter with a clean slate." As bittersweet as it is to see some amazing students move on it is somewhat nice to start with a blank page. It's time to start writing the next chapter.<br />
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So as I begin this new journey, I've made a few decisions on how I am going to try to make sure this isn't the longest school year ever again (because honestly I don't think I could handle one that seems any longer than this one did!).<br />
1. I have scaled back on my teaching days. I may be picking up some work on one of these days but it won't be teaching classes, and this should really help bring some free time to my life that allows me a bit more flexibility and availability to give either to my husband, kids, or house...<br />
2. I am getting started now! I have accomplished so much this week as I wrapped up the close of this school year. I began planning next year, and have already made huge strides in planning for next school year. In doing this I have set some goals for the 2 months of my summer vacation. I will spend set times each week when it does not take away time from spending with my kiddos planning and preparing for next year so I don't end up spending every waking moment planning the next day's lessons. I really want to have it done when I return to school in August.<br />
3. Through items 1 and 2 I believe this should help me with having more time to spend helping my oldest with her school work, or just being available when she needs it, and making every moment count with my younger 2. As I said in previous posts I am done waiting... time to seize every moment!<br />
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I have a few things I may be adding to my life next school year, but I feel like after the lengthy adventure this year I am bit wiser and bit more cautious and purposeful in my time management. I am working on not over committing to things that I don't "have" to do, and I am definitely going to enter the next school year with a much better plan of how I will spend each day, so I don't look back and say, that was the longest school year ever... Again!<br />
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C.S. Lewis seemed to really get this, "<span itemprop="articleBody">If you read history you will find that the
Christians who did the most for the present world were just those who
thought most of the next." I am ready to think about the next and not let the now keep me so dried out that I have nothing left to give to the next. As I continue to wring myself out giving every last drop into the present moment or present urgent task, I leave nothing to give to the next amazing moment that comes my way. Psalm 90:12 says, "</span><span itemprop="articleBody">Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." It is a wise move to enter my next days with a better plan than I did this year. As much as I like a bit of unpredictability and like to change up what I am doing often, it is wise to think about my next. Ephesians 5:15 - 16 says, "</span><span itemprop="articleBody">Be very careful, then, how you live – not
as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the
days are evil." Again, I am reminded that I should be living as the wise... the wise MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY! </span><br />
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XAtGaIicjRERAJiIgCIiAeX7Sh6do/F0ii6YElD7MCf8AnOgImPDgVRtUAAeg7TtDLpH7pktWc9oM7ZcuUkbcng7SP8w4/wCH7zb6Xq8a6ZQzKNq04J5BHfjvctF0yhi4UBjwTXJH3mPJ0/Gzbiik++0TtLPCXFccEqLKPGCuDTbuPzQeeKFsR9uKm/jAOsJ/8kf/AHlll0ysNrAMPYjiQmlQGwoBA2ggc7fb7SZZ00+/PqaolXX5+o/2YP8AIzWwDyaP7/7pe/hlstQthTGuSPYwNInlpR5Pl4+X7e0f+iNe+1GalfrV/wBJwfZ/6CYuiahUR1chWV232aPe757ipb5MClgxAtb2muRfeUeqxOGZnx4stHyuxVSoPYNx9pUJRnHX6e/UNNOza+GSPBJHYu1fa5Oq/wC1Y/8AZt/WbPSdL4WMKTZslj6WTZr6TO+BSwahuAoGua9vtIlkSySl9Skvlo51fLjLYcy+GL/LyAce49xOg0OUvjViKtQa9rE8P0/GW3HGhb32i5sqKmZcqmhGLRQ9RUrkfGP/ABG2vve1/wCXM8Lj8/4b+EZN/wD8dBq+26Xz4ASCQCV7Gu18GvaQMQDbqG6qv1r2lr9Qkkq/PcnW2VeiyBc+cPQZiGBPFrXpftNLUMG/FsnybAL9CwHP3l5k0+PMoJCuPQkAzKNMu3ZtG0ittCq9qhZknfjx6G68UVudU/CqMlhNi3Q5HA5/eahzPjbH+amZWYBQQN4v+IES8y7UXmgo457V2r+kx4dBjQ2qKp9woBiGZJO11YcexS6cOMuZRmGI7yaKqdwPY2T7Td6Go/MIffb8nbtBIFGq4P8Aym/qNEj/ADorV2sA1MqYgopQAB2AFCMmdSjX09Ao0z1ERPIWIiIBMREAREQBERAEREAREiATEiIoEzmcqsMeptr/ADB6Ac2vM6aVuXpd+IN/lyEMRQ4II9b7cdp6MGRQu/Iiab6ELlyJlRXZWDhuwraVo/qPvNJ+puKYZA3mAKqh2UTXzn1ltqNHvdWJ+UMK99wA/SaZ6QxQIcrbVraNo4o8X7/ynSM8fWVGVLwJZsrZsiK4UKFI8t8kdvtNrpeoOTGrNVm7rtYJEnFptuR3u94Xiu20H/jJ0Gm8NAl3V8/ck/75ynKDjS8jUmVmXVZtuVwyhcbMANt7gvoTM+PNkXJjDsGGQHiq2kDd39R95j1rYsWLKuXKiDIWNsQCN30vmavSOrY9U2MpvBQNVoaK/LZaqF8GgfWddoeK4+nl/ZlMzHX5PCxMPKGB3OE3VzwNo7D/AITIddk8IMrK3mouilqWu+30N0CJnTppVUCOVZARdAgg88rclOmEDh2DltxYV81V8vaq4qN8XD/j/BUjUOuY4XYOj0VANc8kcMp7GZzkytlyKrKoSq8t3YuvtJy9N8uQu/L1uagAApvt6evNzX1HU8GE5Mr5kpwCBuBJAU1tF21w5Y+aV/b6Cme8OuyZBiVSFZ1LM1XQU1wD7mbHTMzl8qZCDsK0QK7i5Q9N6imRMJTxVKKSX8NiF3WdpFU36HipddGxNuyOdxDsKLCiaFXXoL/pNnGOraS/nqE+S0iIniOgiIgExEQBERAEREAREQCv6v1QYQoCnJkewiChdcliTwqj1Yym6f8AFhYuMqKCnA8Ni3iEi6WwOAvJb5eZea7pWLMyvkXcUBA5NUaJBANMLANH2k5el4m33jW8i7XIFMy1VEjmqlLWuUDn8HxkXwjKuBiPECOdw2i3CijXmJBuhwPedNi1CsWCsG2mmrmjV195gz9KxNh8EoBjFUotao2KrkG6NzY02lXGoRAFUdgP+uT9Ylr4A53qXxBmD5kwYlrAu7JkykqO17VA9TRomveZNf8AEbo2nCYWPilbsG6KhiFHqRYs9h/Sz1PR8LMXdbuiws7W2/KWW6Yj6yg0ujXqGfLkygthxgJiUEgAmmY2tEmtoP3I9JS1BmX4qYNnVsascQFBGLehLbzVKFoWfc0LM8J8VZBj0zPjRPGI3bmIajyWVaJ2gVye90AZ46zpUBx6HTquMZWHi7QATj5Zr9ew5P1HvLzQfD2nwtux4lDf4jbEX7Fia/Sb8tApsvxPmPiPjwgYcLhGOQkZHJIG1FHY8jv9vtsdW6tm8XHjx46V8m1t1hmQf3jLXyKo/iPexXvLNei4Q+/bZ3b6JO0P/jC9g31nvX9KxZipyLuK3XJHBq1NHzLwOD7TNo30Byut6fhc48WDEi4cmUI+WrfJQZiqMfMV8pBa+b49TLX/APoExZzpxjKpiTlvr2VEUcsTzUus+iRwoZeEYMo7Uy9iK/pPH9m4vF8bYvi1W+ua/wCvWZsn1BRYvjEHDkyNiKlGYBbBJVeNzHsgux688C5l0fxUch09YGCZzt3k0A2wsaFWwFfNwPa5Zv0TAUbH4a7HbewArc17rNd+Zk1/SsWZVXIlqhtQCRVCvQjiuKm3DsCp6v1cPsxKm/HmbYz7iqlaJYqRyQADZ7elmVY6dhy5cONMONNMzMxIWmzeGB699lkV/iq+1X0+u6PhyhBkQEY/kHYDiqocV9O0z5dEjMjFecZJQ/4bBU/yMKSXQFHh+KcbB9qMdrbcaAfmZNo8zbf4EB4tq7GW/RNec+BMpXZvF7bvizRv6ij+so+usoP4bToivqGK5HAoiwS7cDzMFJ+24e8vdDpmx+XfuQABBtUFasV5aBFV6cfrMdUDciIkAREQCYiIAiIgCIiAIiIAiJ5dwO5A+8Axa5iMbFRZAJHNSlx6nJ/oxKlmKtxu+byjkk9vf1l9nS1I9wR+4qVmj0bjwNwA8MMp5u/KADPThlFRd17RDRlxa80+7GdyGig812LFH2mv0vIuIjAmJcYolArBhxyQfUGzPWs0Dt4u2vOUI5qwoFg12uRpNCwyo/hoiqGBCkE8juTQuWljp8+vkZbs89Cwhi2ZkXxCSm+7baGPl7cAfzm1m1zBmXGm/YBuO7b37Ae5nrpWnbGGVgK3EqQbsEk9vSYsmDImR2xqrDJR5baVYCvbkSXq5t8eXY23RJ6iSVVELMV3EE7No7ck3zd+khepcL5SCcgxspPKk+v1HaePw2VGD+VyVC5LO2yCSCOPqR+08t0/JtL+XxDkGSr8vAA23Xt613lKOP2xbM3UdTxkQDtiLXf3FSMesNIiJvbYrNbBQAR7nuTR4mJ9JldsjMFG7EUADXRv1NT2NNkRgyKrWiqwJrlexBqZrCkuP9Fs9dDYlXJsHxW4Pcc9piOZxqMoRN/lQ/NtA4Pv6/abfTMDKrb63M5bjtzJw6YjNkc9mCgfoDcnaO0hTaRjXqBKKyox3X3NBa77j6TF/a3lclaOMjdTAgA/xAjvXqJrv05wmO1VwhcshalNmwb+g95m6dor8QkJsyqKCcrVEUPfiuZeuJRvr+f6FyK3pWkODIz5iruEJ3Le1Me6yaIsu7WT9qHaW2LqXKlk2q5AB3gkE9rUdv3MxaTpzeHkXKRucbbHooFKfv6/rI0uhYFQcOFdpFuACSB7ChR/WKxtP3/wclxERPGWIiIBMREAREQBERAERMOtL+G/hgF9p2A9i1cfzmg9+Mt7dw3d6sXXvXepzHVGbU63HhX+505GTMfQ5O6Jfv2P6zFpdBl2k48Jx5ApLZ8gVs+R652CyBfayaHFCar/AAxlGkG4HLnLq5G6qJcFzZ4L1xuPauPr0jFIHc3IFTktTotTnytjzreMAFdpK4ORZ3UQ+Tb2C8XyTUr8vQtYNP4KkjdkI4c9rP5jH0QKFAQfrM0XcHfSCwHecrl6fnw6jDkXxM5KOrkttTcdu2xdIg57Anj1MouvZcjpk/G5NjgEY8SkhL5AYAG2s87m4A94WNPowfRXyBRbEAe5ND+c85c6hSxZQoF2SAK+/acl1PpmS8OPZkzYkxAKFK+fIeCXdj5BVURZpjXM8Zek52yY8eXGHxhQVRQBp8bfKAw7uFUCh/EWPYCZou4NjXagazVrgxteHFtyZSp4Y/MosHkduPc/Sdb27zmfh7o+XTl0FKhyly/BbIvG1aApR3v+Xe5k+K9C2U4b8RsIb87Hj/iFGrA5IJofSa6tJCjoEcEWCCD6jkSeJyGbo2caPKuENiZ8hdcSMBtQ0Nm70NAmgQL4uRm6Vqjk0zA8Y78m87UpaUue+Q3dn6UKBuFDxsHWvnQFVLKGbhQSAWoWaHrxMk5HXdMyDU4X2PnKgt4lqLydgGP/AHeMAk0oN36zqNKGCjeQzepAoX3oD29JjSSsHO/E+sORxpUPzV4n1u9qH6UCzf5V/wA0udDpziCY0C+EibbvzbhQ7dqIsyh03Ssg1GdwrLky5CDmNbUw8UMfu7AAfSvpzV5BqMGlzAK2Ivlaud+TIzkhVx2eBVEseTzQ9ZWt8AvemO2XW585NYcS+DjPoSCC5+wYVf2nQ48ikWpBHuDYnDfgMxwaZV3Ng22ceEKxJqwWL0CSxYkngGuD3l10lXweGroUGU7Ux4wXTEOWt37lmPc9v6xKPZg6GIicgIiIBMREAREQBERAEREAm4EiIAkyIgHjMxCkqLNGh7muBKPovTXYrl1ChWUeXHe6mYebI59XPbjhRwJfxNTroBERJAuLkRNBNwZEQCbiREATmOuF8mrx4kB/KQuDXlDvaKxPbyruNdySJ08Sk6YMHT9KuLGmNeyKAL7n6n6mbERJBEREAREQCYiIAiIgAmQDJiAIiIAiIgCIiAIMQYBEREAVERNBDTwAZkkTAB9ZIEgmRZgHqIiAIkXJgCIiAIiIBMREAREQBERAEREAREQBERAEGIMAiIiAIiIAiIgCpMiIAiIgCIiAIiIAiIgExEQBERAEREAREQBERAEREAQZEQBERAEREAREQBERAEREAREQBERAEREA/9k=" 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" 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<span itemprop="articleBody">So, starting today, I enter into this next summer and this next school year a little wiser and a little more prepared to live with a plan to avoid missing amazing opportunities God brings my way. </span><br />
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New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-71461450391758380112015-05-08T19:28:00.002-07:002015-05-08T19:28:18.201-07:00A final word to my students... <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgESVCg5nlKNSvWxVR4VMUZnin92D3H1mGKL3pZjdznhVTtdRrWgdxNMk_YSRZtJALDiSgznAIFPj6r85SqDX-mS6SxNRlQ6YPVbUbhCSyKUi7kxHpSutsHaijdXDBobrNpj9sK6PJn_TU/s1600/tumblr_m56dxu1wz91r4mn88o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgESVCg5nlKNSvWxVR4VMUZnin92D3H1mGKL3pZjdznhVTtdRrWgdxNMk_YSRZtJALDiSgznAIFPj6r85SqDX-mS6SxNRlQ6YPVbUbhCSyKUi7kxHpSutsHaijdXDBobrNpj9sK6PJn_TU/s320/tumblr_m56dxu1wz91r4mn88o1_500.jpg" width="320" /></a>So this week was my last week with my 1st group of Seniors. I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed teaching these 12th grade students. I love government so teaching them about government and how it works, there are so many things I wish I could have done differently, things I wish I could have taught that I didn't, books we could have read but didn't... and so many other changes. Luckily, I will get to try again next year in the hopes of making what I teach better. I want them to fall in love with government and its inner workings just like I have. Yet, I don't want to just read about it, or memorize facts, I want them to really experience it. So, this year I was sort of just flying by the seat of my pants trying to get something done and something taught. Now that I have my feet wet, I hope it gets better!<br />
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I also taught them about Economics. That terrified me every moment. I took Economics.... I understood enough of it and worked my butt off to get an A. However, scraping an A out of my Economics classes in University is completely different than teaching Economics.... AND there is math in Economics! I don't do math. When Makenzie (my 8 year old) brings home her 4th grade Math homework I break out in a cold sweat. Trying to teach something I barely understood was really shaking my confidence. So, I spent every night before class studying as much as I could, staying up late, reading my textbook, online articles, whatever I could to help me understand what I would be teaching the next day. I know I didn't fool my students. I know they knew I had no clue what I was talking about sometimes. I love that I work in a place though that allows for teacher input. In talking about what I was teaching I was able to find a solution. There were so many concepts I was teaching that were really not necessary for the students to learn about. Especially considering I only had about 8 or 9 weeks to teach it all! I've been able to make changes for next year now to teach Economics concepts that I am really comfortable with AND will be SOOOOO relevant to my students. This really excites me! I so wish I could have offered that to my students this year. I love each one of these kids now young adults and I think we could have had a blast in class if I had been more comfortable with the material I was teaching.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTB6qY708rRe72Bl1TL6qCNdCuaf3RitDELb-QstBK2KRP_xyGsBmCC_QZZCZIY-uxq6sKrcxxyewmmQUsTpcI61d53AsR8tqGUcaWmCn5GYMKLCaBxL52690-qpnKPTOVnKFz3J7F234/s1600/il_570xN.614297063_a75b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTB6qY708rRe72Bl1TL6qCNdCuaf3RitDELb-QstBK2KRP_xyGsBmCC_QZZCZIY-uxq6sKrcxxyewmmQUsTpcI61d53AsR8tqGUcaWmCn5GYMKLCaBxL52690-qpnKPTOVnKFz3J7F234/s320/il_570xN.614297063_a75b.jpg" width="320" /></a>Lastly, I taught about different Worldviews. I have to say this was my favorite material... even though I LOVE government. We learned about Secularism, Post-Modernism, Marxism, Islam, Christianity, and New Spirituality. Again, I wish I had been more familiar with this material. I had so many ideas on how I wanted to teach it, but I just didn't have the time! I barely had the time to read the material and understand everything, and now that I have I finally have the time to find different ways of teaching it and helping the students understand and experience it. I so wish I could have made this experience better for them. Within Worldview I got to really challenge them to think about what they believe however, and I really enjoyed that, and I think for the most part they appreciated that the most about my class.<br />
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So, as the year came to a close I wrote a few words to share with them that I hoped they could take and use to inspire, encourage, and challenge them as they go out and begin their new adventure.<br />
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This is just a bit of what I shared with them:<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiIZ3hEtcZsgu3jmfp9bdN3jwTFA9FNdEishQzR5mAxx27nPWRyj-dm6ye6I9skLCSWm06V2py8KKvgt-Nya1FLJl5X8EuHEyMpn6_fB5EzwAvqp50HEhI3s15UaBFCgxiUl2pnmiA1YE/s1600/d68774f4e815ea043e81f3f182c4baab.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiIZ3hEtcZsgu3jmfp9bdN3jwTFA9FNdEishQzR5mAxx27nPWRyj-dm6ye6I9skLCSWm06V2py8KKvgt-Nya1FLJl5X8EuHEyMpn6_fB5EzwAvqp50HEhI3s15UaBFCgxiUl2pnmiA1YE/s200/d68774f4e815ea043e81f3f182c4baab.jpg" width="190" /></a>"You have a come this far in life, you have had teachers, parents, coaches, and mentors pour into you. Trust your decisions and trust your dreams.... To achieve greatness and do something you never imagined possible you will have to break some rules. I have learned that sometimes in order to make things happen you have to just go with it and ask for forgiveness later.... Failure helps you avoid future failures. If someone never fails then they are more likely to trip up later, but if you fail you learn something and it makes you better. Sometimes, the lessons you learn from failing will be the ones that stick with you and will help you realize something you never even dreamed could be possible.... Don't listen to the people who say you can't. Take the opportunity to prove them wrong. Be confident in what you do, and take pride in your work. When someone tells me I can't do something I see it as a challenge to show him or her that it really was possible.... In some instances my determination to prove them wrong has then led me to find something new I didn't even know I loved!... Take each opportunity in which someone says you can't do something to inspire you to do something great!... Live life like this is your 2nd chance. (A lot of people and now these students know this is how I live my life and why). Are you spending your time on the right thing? Ask yourself this A LOT because time is all you have and you may discover one day you have less time left than you think. A lot of people want a short cut, but the best short cut is the long way. Which basically means just WORK HARD and work your butt off. And remember, no job is beneath you. If you get a job flipping hamburgers, you be really great at flipping hamburgers (or making pizzas as some of my students might consider one day). If you get a job cleaning toilets, you be really great at cleaning toilets.... You should always be looking for ways to give back to others. Find opportunities to invest in younger generations. Look for ways to help those less fortunate than you and truly show them you care. Explore the world, but not as a tourist. Explore the world and look for way's you could change people's lives, and you might just find your life is changed for the better. The way you perceive and react to the world is a choice. Make wise choices. Don't let the world make choices for you, because only you get to determine how you will respond to things you see and people you meet.... If you took one tenth of the energy you spend complaining and apply it to the problem you would be surprised by the result. No matter how bad things are you can always make them worse, so try to view even awful situations for the good that can come form them, and don't forget that even then it could be worse.... Some of the friendships you make at University will last a lifetime. Make wise choices in friends. YOU set the tone of the relationship and don't let someone lead you astray from what you know is right or wrong because you are looking for a group to fit in with or a place to belong.... Don't judge people by the way they look. You may discover some amazing people are hiding behind a lot of different exteriors. One of your best friends you make at University may appear completely different than you, but you might discover you have a whole lot in common. Ecclesiastes 4:9 - 12 says, "Two people are better than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken." Find you a person to stand back to back with and hang on to them.... Don't be afraid to leave your plans for a new dream... no matter how many times a new dream comes along... Be prepared for great opportunities... luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Make a plan, be okay with changing it, but have a plan so when the opportunity comes you are ready.... Don't forget God has a plan for you, and knows everything about you so even though you are venturing off to start a new chapter in your book, make sure that chapter includes time alone with God, and time with other believers who can build you up.... Your definition of success is going to change... A LOT!... What you envision as successful now will not be the same next year, and for sure not the same in 4 years of even in 10 years. Be okay with that definition of success changing. As you are shaped and as you learn some of the biggest lesson in life you will ever learn over the next 4 years think about what you view as success. Think about what is really important to you and hold on to that. When everything in this world one day fades away, how will you define success? You are about to embark on an incredible journey, and make some the best memories of your life, and have probably what you will say is the most fun you will ever have. Remember this is just the beginning though, and I know God had amazing things in store for all of you. Every single one of you has the potential to be an incredible influence on this world in so many different way, so go out and be great, go out and create a new definition of success that has yet to even be imagined." <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY1mkfLoNXp2SKaTRVqyy5ascWGFfyYoxGG1QJKEx7-CRbKTqgzR87QERNAGV3GQuf6qn-iOkYG-ZiLRTM-ElLibKo6IPBQrIYwLJ-Ivq_9FSeqOxEjh6VxnKsFQI0RTSX8sfprhSKrg0/s1600/Dwight-L-Moody-Quote-Life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY1mkfLoNXp2SKaTRVqyy5ascWGFfyYoxGG1QJKEx7-CRbKTqgzR87QERNAGV3GQuf6qn-iOkYG-ZiLRTM-ElLibKo6IPBQrIYwLJ-Ivq_9FSeqOxEjh6VxnKsFQI0RTSX8sfprhSKrg0/s200/Dwight-L-Moody-Quote-Life.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJAhsSgRJ9NMxVpiMQ6rcs39jH2nsUKZQVaZvy-u2UnF5pGBEbaHyRxK06aotQtlLQyI17KsgRKoWayNKaqVHmUfuf_nGwyhzh8viEJRIVoA47CSwVVqpzYjvewbVdss2YS_6ygNcL-Ek/s1600/6794.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJAhsSgRJ9NMxVpiMQ6rcs39jH2nsUKZQVaZvy-u2UnF5pGBEbaHyRxK06aotQtlLQyI17KsgRKoWayNKaqVHmUfuf_nGwyhzh8viEJRIVoA47CSwVVqpzYjvewbVdss2YS_6ygNcL-Ek/s200/6794.jpg" width="200" /></a>I wish I could have added "I'm sorry you were the guinea pigs. The class that I had to practice with and learn from. I wish I could have made everything as great as I envisioned it. I am so glad that you were in my class this year. I truly loved every moment I got to spend getting to know you. I enjoyed watching you learn about yourselves and interact with one another. I think you all are so blessed to have such a great group of friends to continue on with, and don't take the foundation you have gained here for granted. At the end of the day I hope you learned a little about government, a little about different worldviews, maybe even a little about economics, but I hope more than anything you learned you have someone who cares greatly for you and about your future in me. And I hope you learned about yourself and your relationship with God. I hope that relationship was strengthened and I want you to know if you ever need anything I am happy to help! I can't wait to see how each one of you change the world.<br />
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That's what I wish I could have added. I wish I could have done so many other things, and now I am even more challenged to make next year so much better than this year was.<br />
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The end of the school year is a mix of emotions, but this year saying goodbye to these seniors, who have genuinely touched my heart, is quite a challenge. I plan to take better advantage of my time next year for sure!<br />
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<br />New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-60663402458128174352015-05-06T12:32:00.000-07:002015-05-06T18:43:56.402-07:00Waiting... Waiting...Waiting...Waiting can be really hard.<br />
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Lately in life I feel like all I've been doing is a lot of waiting. Waiting to determine if we would buy a new house. Waiting for my trip to Sri Lanka. Waiting for the school year to end. Waiting for the next big thing. It always seems like I am waiting for something.<br />
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Now that we have decided to stay at our current home, I am no longer waiting for that decision to be made but I am now waiting for us to finish some projects at the current house so I can organize and get some things settled. This week I am waiting for some students to finish an exam. Always waiting, waiting, waiting....<br />
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What I've discovered about waiting though is I can either let myself get depressed and in a funk about no progress being made, or I can maximize the time I have while waiting. I love a good countdown and I let that get me excited most of the time, but I can also get caught up in the number that never feels like it will pass. I find myself in a struggle to enjoy the moment because it always feels like I am waiting for something better. The here and now often starts to feel like the same old same old thing, and whatever I am waiting for will bring change and maybe even excitement.<br />
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Yet I think the biggest challenge is finding the excitement in the everyday and cherishing the moments I have right now. Making the best use of my time today so when some big moment does come I can fully enjoy it. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXeYl9gs5eTw2bZtYUOMjWdG4ZzxLsg4f1baYLlVxNxb1SrRe35BKF2PFzMpEksFEgqH-WXB2qb-m7qwr814inkcy6igx7e1T_6N4vGrhiFr0aRrOW7k2O__btHUahwSwo8_OtngWdyRw/s1600/1378873_1577633909185197_8620769173506941132_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXeYl9gs5eTw2bZtYUOMjWdG4ZzxLsg4f1baYLlVxNxb1SrRe35BKF2PFzMpEksFEgqH-WXB2qb-m7qwr814inkcy6igx7e1T_6N4vGrhiFr0aRrOW7k2O__btHUahwSwo8_OtngWdyRw/s1600/1378873_1577633909185197_8620769173506941132_n.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a>Saturday we had an amazing day as a family. And we didn't do anything incredible we just enjoyed the day. Yes, it was my youngest kid's 3rd birthday, but any day could have been like that day. We had breakfast together and just laughed, we went and the kids played at an indoor trampoline park which could have easily just been the neighborhood park, we ran a few errands all together which sometimes is annoying but was actually really fun, stopped to enjoy the waterwall we were near, and we ate dinner together and talked and enjoyed each others company and no one was on their phone, running around the restaurant, doing cartwheels in the booth, or crying (major accomplishment!). I realized on Saturday that so many times, we wait for some event to give us moments like that, when really we should make each day that way. There is no need to wait to enjoy the day. It's the whole Carpe Diem thing. Seize the day ... well really seize the moment! I mean really that's what it comes down to.<br />
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The goal this week for me has been to find at least one time a day to stop waiting and just enjoy what I have right in front of me, and to stop putting off things and pushing kids and family and whatever aside to wait for a better moment because this or that is more pressing or I just feel like it needs to wait till later.<br />
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No more waiting time to seize the moment! <br />
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Although I will keep waiting to see this place again... so in love with this little island....
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Lately, since I have really started falling in love with Sri Lanka, I have been on a journey to learn how to cook Sri Lankan food. It has been great fun, and I have enjoyed learning about my new friend's favorite foods and trying to make them. I have attempted many new recipes, been successful at a few, and exposed my family and friends here in the US to lots of new dishes.<br />
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My favorite things I have tried have been Milk Rice (kiri bath) and a pumpkin curry I made at Thanksgiving. I have made several different kinds of curry and some short eats or appetizer type things as well. I also attempted string hoppers and a milk gravy (kiri hodi). With each attempt I feel that I am gaining a better grasp of how to prepare the food. AND I have started to want to eat curry more and more! I also have gotten more comfortable with the idea of savory food for breakfast! My Sri Lankan friends eat curry for breakfast too, a very foreign idea to us Americans.<br />
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So recently (April 14th) was Sinhala and Tamil New Year, and there are so many fun and festive foods they make for New Year and I wanted to give it a shot. However, none of the recipes seemed very easy.... I did try a cashew toffee sort of praline thing. And while I don't think it looked much like the pictures I have seen, almost everyone who tried it said it tasted amazing and several people asked for the recipe. So, while it may not have looked exactly like it should have it did taste pretty good!<br />
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This made me want to start writing about my food adventures. Trying new foods and making new foods, I just thought it would be nice to have a record of some of those experiences. So my plan is to try one new recipe each week!<br />
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This week I am going to try to make Kokis. It is a special treat made particularly around Sinhala and Tamil New Year. For my American friends, Kokis is like a very thin crunchy funnel cake. I ordered the mold needed to make it and have everything else needed so I thought it would be fun and one of the easier things to try! So here goes.<br />
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<b>Ingredients: </b><br />
2 to up to 2 1/2 cups rice flour (can be found at Indian Stores usually)<br />
1 cup coconut milk<br />
1 cup water<br />
1 egg<br />
salt to taste<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkJCaaRvIl-T69nixAy4YzKIJarzIOdQZ8p8HKMddpkXanQ7fhMFA6fwg2TG-lewbfoBXRUgU6btHiQCtv-wELPf6fpdQJmitbN0XAg4OfVAfGxNe38iWPhjfQavzRAe_jXg91J-D3H4k/s1600/20150426_173949.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkJCaaRvIl-T69nixAy4YzKIJarzIOdQZ8p8HKMddpkXanQ7fhMFA6fwg2TG-lewbfoBXRUgU6btHiQCtv-wELPf6fpdQJmitbN0XAg4OfVAfGxNe38iWPhjfQavzRAe_jXg91J-D3H4k/s1600/20150426_173949.jpg" height="112" width="200" /></a></div>
oil (will be used for frying the kokis) I used coconut oil.<br />
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First step is to mix the batter. Mix the rice flour, coconut milk, water, and egg in a bowl. If you have fresh coconut milk, even better, but I used can coconut milk. <br />
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The second step is to heat your oil on the stove. Once the oil is heated then dip the mold (I couldn't find a traditional kokis mold but I did find a Norwegian cookie mold on Amazon that was similar in shape and also came with the fun butterfly shape you see below. It was made by Norpro.)<br />
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Once the oil is heated and you have dipped the mold in the oil for about 30 seconds to heat the mold, let the excess oil drip off and dip the mold into the batter. DO NOT cover the top of the mold with the batter or the kokis will not remove. Once you have dipped the mold in the batter then place it back in the hot oil, hold it there for a couple seconds then gently shake the mold to release the kokis from the mold. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqfX8ynMSdApbWP-WOExJkqOfd-Z5mWPYIBltJm1SM7rZsUj-k3FuWGFjs9gppII1BaOV1wntTi06lkNKc2CW5ZFUCaOQ4kgflVO39zDZd2qPVQul88GzDJe0F-7O-fDczzCtxNHTxdbo/s1600/20150426_175633.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqfX8ynMSdApbWP-WOExJkqOfd-Z5mWPYIBltJm1SM7rZsUj-k3FuWGFjs9gppII1BaOV1wntTi06lkNKc2CW5ZFUCaOQ4kgflVO39zDZd2qPVQul88GzDJe0F-7O-fDczzCtxNHTxdbo/s1600/20150426_175633.jpg" height="200" width="112" /></a><br />
It will then float in the oil and start to turn light brown. Flip the kokis over and allow to cook a few more seconds until it has turned a light brown color all around. Once it is cooked, remove it from the oil and allow to cool. My kids thought they were awesome drizzled with honey and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. Definitely like a crispy funnel cake. I would have sprinkled powdered sugar on them if I had some in the pantry.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi-Aex86XN-ztjcexXjrHwbNCeDNZs08U7fzn92vDXK2lWZIll-dZOv1zY9dLEafpTa9ZBj1QlLqGIc3neA0bFs2uOV_UPPpibIMQ8P_Dnt_US4fEQ_ZRexzkQQyEt8htAMtJWmKTRkyA/s1600/2015-04-26+21.26.15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi-Aex86XN-ztjcexXjrHwbNCeDNZs08U7fzn92vDXK2lWZIll-dZOv1zY9dLEafpTa9ZBj1QlLqGIc3neA0bFs2uOV_UPPpibIMQ8P_Dnt_US4fEQ_ZRexzkQQyEt8htAMtJWmKTRkyA/s1600/2015-04-26+21.26.15.jpg" height="159" width="200" /></a><br />
The one recipe of batter made this many kokis and more... We ate several before I took this picture... They were fun, fairly easy to make, and delicious!<br />
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This was the best one I made, AND it was the very first one! Even Makenzie, my 8 year old, had a great time helping make them.<br />
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So, until the next food journey...<br />
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If anyone tries this (and you haven't before...) let me know how it goes!<br />
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I have had to seriously consider do I trust them? Sometimes I wonder why God is doing things the way He is. I question his plan. If he has given me passions and desires for certain things, then why am I not able to live out those passions and desires? I keep expecting God to bring about new life from things I invest in, but I am not seeing new life. It becomes frustrating to me, and I have to ask myself, "Do I trust God?" And immediately I answer, YES! Of course I trust God, but it is one thing for my brain to say I trust him and a completely different thing for my heart to agree (silly heart again!). I tend to just run head first into things and I trust God to go before me, but when I struggle trusting God is when my hands have to get out of the way of the work. When it becomes less about me doing the work and more about Him doing the work, and the holy spirit doing the work. That is when I really start to wonder.... what are you doing God? I don't like to wait on His timing all the time. As I struggle with this it is a daily battle of recognizing I have to trust God that 1. He has me exactly where he wants me for the time (a whole other story!) 2. His timing is perfect and I have to trust that He will work to bring new life to things I invest my time into, and 3. trust that His desires are for my best, and He may not always give me exactly what I THINK is best for me. I have to really build up some courage to let go of a few things and really trust with both my head and my heart. It means that I give up some control in a few situations, and spend a lot of time on my knees praying and pouring my heart out to the One who loves me most, and then I leave it in HIS capable hands.<br />
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So this trust thing trickles down into so many other places in my life as well. I mean with school, volunteer work, church work. There are several places where God has placed people in my life that I have to trust they are making the best decisions. Many of the decisions they make affect me in some way, and I have to trust they really want what is best for me and in turn the people I am reaching out to as well. Not only people above me in certain jobs, but even mentors and friends. Trusting that they genuinely care about me and aren't just trying to squash what I really want. There are so many times I hold so tightly to what I want to happen, that I don't listen (I may hear them, but don't take it to heart) to the people around me and I may get what I want, but sometimes without the outcome I hoped would happen.<br />
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THUS, this week I have started releasing a bit of my will (strong will) and started to really try to trust the people around me and the God who loves me. It is going to require some biting of my tongue, some time spent praying (maybe a lot of time spent praying!) and some relaxing on my part to know that God is really in control. I may not know exactly what is going to happen, but that is okay... I can trust that God does know what is going to happen. <br />
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New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-34909793754631498212015-04-11T16:56:00.003-07:002021-03-19T18:55:25.466-07:00The infinite to-do list... and the power of NO! So have you ever heard of the time management prioritization strategy with the 4 squares? You label square one Urgent/Important, square 2 Urgent/Not Important, Square 3 Important/Not Urgent, and square 4 Not Urgent/Not Important.... looks something like this...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6LmXNC7Y-NpzU-tbvl6DHC_FlKfA3HENg2oqConCuwcdWM_y_GsEmqCMvB1Va0H43E8zlccSloQoYComr_a6YVrw6ByEmALLEC8JmZjqfxnra2yuBI6f1PydqkCJ0rKzbsvZ258uHztY/s1600/2015-04-11+18.23.34.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6LmXNC7Y-NpzU-tbvl6DHC_FlKfA3HENg2oqConCuwcdWM_y_GsEmqCMvB1Va0H43E8zlccSloQoYComr_a6YVrw6ByEmALLEC8JmZjqfxnra2yuBI6f1PydqkCJ0rKzbsvZ258uHztY/s1600/2015-04-11+18.23.34.jpg" width="180" /></a>Someone I used to work for showed me this and it was like it was supposed to revolutionize how I got things done... like it would magically make it so easy for me to see which of the thousands of things on my to-do list needed to be done first... the only problem was I spent forever trying to decide what to put in each box!<br />
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I mean in my mind the "Urgent/Not Important" category is a joke... why would something be urgent but not important! The word urgent clearly makes it IMPORTANT! But if you read about this strategy they give examples (one I still don't agree with...) I have a mental block that if something is Urgent it immediately gets Important status so it moves to the "Urgent/Important" category... which as you will see at the end of this post is my biggest category!<br />
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So "Urgent/Not Important" has left the box now down to 3. The next category I found to be a complete waste of time is the "Not Urgent/Not Important" category... why would you even need to have a category for that???? If something was not urgent or important it really shouldn't be on my list to begin with! I mean seriously?? I don't have time for not urgent and not important things.... So, down to 2 categories...<br />
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This leaves me with 2 categories: "Urgent/Important" and "Not Urgent/Important." These two boxes are where I live... I mean really I live in the "Urgent/Important" category, because come on most important things eventually become urgent if you put them off long enough.... So this is why I have an infinite to-do list all the time. I keep one of those flippy notebook paper pads around all the time. I currently have 5 in my back pack... each one full of lists of things I have to do and all the notes that go along with what I have to do. You would thing that they might be organized some way too, but no each pad is full of stuff from all different aspects of my life.. So I spend time flipping through them just to figure out what it is I am supposed to be doing next, and then I end up just making a new to-do list.... it really is a never ending cycle.<br />
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I know the person who showed me the 4 square organizing time management strategy was trying to help, but again it just added to my constant list of one more thing to do and I always started an argument with myself about the non-essential two squares. And, I have had other people offer strategies for time-management and organization as well... but to no avail.. I still have an infinite to-do list. The list keeps growing even after I cross things off...<br />
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Thus, I am left to find a solution in which I am able to cross stuff off my list, but not add things, AND find a way to determine which things on the list must get done first etc. So, I finally decided this week to say NO! That's right just say NO! We have all heard it a hundred times right? I mean "Just say NO to drugs!" We heard a thousand times growing up... Well you know, doing stuff is my drug...adding things to my to-do list is like a drug... I am constantly looking for something else to do and if someone asks me to do something there is a very slim chance that I would tell them no... I just can't resist. I want to do whatever I can to help other people, and so I always say yes. However, this week I officially took one thing off my list and handed it over to someone else. It is something I was sort of looking forward to doing, and their would have been great benefit and fun involved, BUT the cost of my time was going to be too high. SO I SAID NO. Someone else asked me about doing something next school year and being in charge of some small thing, probably not even a huge task, but I said NO.<br />
<br /> This made me realize that not only do I need to say NO I am going to have to decide what can go undone. What is going to be the thing I take off the list and let it fall into that "Important but not Urgent" Category for now... because in my mind EVERYTHING is "Urgent and Important" yet I have to decide some things can just wait....<br />
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Again, I made a decision. My house is driving me nuts. It is a wreck, there is no other way to put it. And I would be embarrassed for someone to see the state my house is in right now.. stuff everywhere, laundry everywhere, the floor is scary seriously. But you know what, we are functioning, the kids don't care, my husband doesn't care, I am the one who is always flipping out about the house... and so I decided the house can wait. I will do some light picking up each day, just so we can sit and eat and that kind of thing and prevent bugs (that is important), but I am not going to stress about it. I am going to focus on what I need to get done and what has a deadline and check it off the list and then I can work on my house.... and by no means can it go in the not important not urgent box (worthless box!) but it can sit temporarily in the "Not Urgent but Important" box.<br />
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After what I feel like were some revolutionary decisions for me, I spent the day doing school work (On a Saturday), but I was able to get soooooo many things crossed of my list today! And that means I can go home and focus on the people in my house (ignoring the mess!) because those people are always going to be in the "Urgent/Important" box. All of these decisions have been in the works for a while, but it has just taken time for my heart (silly heart - read the last post) to let go of some things and my head and heart to get on the same page. I have to accept that I am only capable of doing so many things and as much as I would like to do everything all the time, I have to pick and choose...<br />
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If you are an expert at time management and organization and have strategies for the non-organized share away! I can't say that I won't get a mental block that your strategy just won't work for me, but perhaps someone else out there is like me and lives in 2 boxes constantly contemplating the urgency and importance of everything in their his/her life.New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-35256247795209837822015-04-09T14:10:00.006-07:002021-03-19T21:03:41.174-07:00My toughest critic.... <span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;">The definition of a critic is a person who expresses an unfavorable opinion of something, or a</span><span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;"> person who judges the merits of literary, artistic, or musical works. I think that is really interesting. The definition alone almost guarantees whatever the critic is going to say will be negative. I love to watch shows where people, cook, dance, sing, design, whatever it is and then are judged on their work by the "experts" in that field. I find that I myself become a critic as I watch judging what I think and expressing my opinions on what they have just done. Whenever someone gets a negative review they either, bust into tears, begin arguing why they disagree and what they did was so good, or they take the criticism and turn it into fuel to work even harder the next time. That last reaction is rare though. Why do so many of these contestants get so emotional over their work? They take all of the comments so personally, and they let it either fill them with sadness, anger, or defeat, even if what they created was really awful. </span><br />
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<span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;">I find that I too handle criticism in much the same way. When someone says something negative to me, I take the criticism very personally, and I see it as a reflection of myself. It doesn't matter if what is being criticized is something I have done, said, or actually me, I view the criticism as a direct result of who I am. </span></div>
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<span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;">This week a student said something to me that made me instantly become hyper critical of myself. With one comment from an 18 year old I immediately began evaluating everything I had done and am doing looking for weaknesses to pick a part. I took the comment very personally and was hurt by it. If I had been a cartoon character you would have probably seen steam shooting from my hears and my face would have been bright red (which I am sure it was already a bit red for real!). I had to fight back tears and emotions that were not appropriate for the classroom, and had to finish that class, and make it through another class before I was able to fully process how what had been said, and my reaction to it. </span></div>
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<span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;">Why did I take it so personally? Why do those people on tv in these competition shows take the criticism so personally? What causes such an emotional reaction? </span></div>
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<span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;">As I thought about this incident this week, I began to realize that I have always been overly sensitive to criticism. It started at a very young age. I remember never wanting anyone to be unhappy with what I had done. I would cry when someone scolded me or I would get angry at the criticism. As I have gotten older I think it has just gotten worse. I know I tend to overreact to criticism in some form or fashion. This really got me thinking. Why do I overreact to the feedback people give, even if it is done in a way that is positive? </span></div>
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<span face="arial, sans-serif" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-size: x-small; line-height: 15.6px;">And I finally came up with an answer, one I should have made the connection with a long time ago. Everything I do, I pour my entire heart and soul into. Whether it is loving my family, doing my school work, planning lessons, helping people, being a friend, whatever it is that I am doing I am going to give it 100% of myself. I think this is why I sometimes don't want to do some things if I can't focus all my attention on it. If I can't pour every bit of myself out into what I am doing, I would rather just not do it. The only problem with this is that because I have poured every bit of myself out into what I have done, when someone criticizes my work, or how I do something, or how I don't do something well, or any other number of things, I take it as a direct criticism of ME. Everything I am is a part of what I have done, and I suddenly take that negative critique and twist it to be about me, and how I am lacking. I don't view it as what I did is lacking, but it must be ME who is lacking in some way. I let my heart get so connected to what I am doing that I can't help but take whatever is said personally. </span></div>
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I saw this picture and I couldn't help but think, "THAT is exactly the problem!" My heart can't help but get involved in everything I do... And while that is a good thing in some ways because I put forth an extreme amount of effort, and I care intensely about the people and things in my life, it also means that I let any criticism of how I am doing things cut to the heart. I think I am already so hard on myself about things, and over analyze my work thinking it is not good enough that when someone else says something negative it is like a double whammy!</div>
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It is the same way for those people who are on those shows, as good or bad as their singing, dancing, cooking, designing, or WHATEVER it is they are doing, they have poured their heart into it. And it cuts deep when someone says what you have spent so much of yourself to prepare just doesn't measure up. </div>
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So I find myself in a conundrum. I either should try not to invest so much in all I do, or I should try to not take it so personally when someone criticizes my work. And that's the thing. Often what they are criticizing is just my work. It is something I do it is not who I am. I have to be able to separate who I am from what I do just a little bit, so that I can take the criticism and effectively use it to be one of those people who take the critique and go and work even harder to come back on top. </div>
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Ultimately, I have to remember that everything I am doing is for the Lord, not for men, and if He is pleased with me then I have done my job, and I can't let one comment, criticism, or negative steal my joy. </div>
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"<span face="Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." Psalm 28:7 </span></div>
New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-47273111674298495112015-04-06T22:27:00.000-07:002015-04-06T22:27:00.033-07:00I need a workout buddy...Seriously, I have had a fitness/weight loss goal for over a year now, and I think the biggest reason I haven't reached it is I need a workout buddy. I need someone who will look me in the face and say, "Missed your workout today? Ummm.... NOT acceptable!" And I need someone to say, "Ate a cookie? WHAT?!? That is so not okay! Ate chips and salsa too!?! Get with the program and have some discipline already!" I know not everyone appreciates someone in their face, but if I am going to meet my goal (and not meet it only to within a few months be right back where I started), then I am going to have to be accountable to someone. Sadly, being accountable to myself has not worked.<br />
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I really don't enjoy working out, and I am not a runner. I somewhat enjoy biking... but really that's just okay too. I've been contemplating trying to become a runner... and then I remember I really don't like to run... I mean I watch people in the neighborhood run all the time. I am a great runner watcher... there is the guy who is training for the next tough mudder competition, he decided running sounded fun when you mix it with mud and crazy obstacles and its not too intense of a run, more of an intense experience. There is the newlywed couple who runs while staring into each other's eyes, I mean come on, someone is going to get hurt, but I guess if making googly eyes at one another is what gets you to run, good for you. Then, there is the "I have to look like I am sweating and working hard without actually sweating" runner girl, it is all about the looks for her. There is the guy who runs with no shirt and my kids yell, "He's Naked!" whenever we pass him... yeah we are obviously still working on defining those terms at our house. Then there is the trained marathon runner who puts all other runners to shame... and somewhere I think to myself... maybe I could be a runner.... but then I would just become the "wow, look at that crazy girl trying to run" runner. Anyways, I think I could be a runner... if a bear was chasing me.<br />
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So, since running is not my thing, and I enjoy biking somewhat, but to get a decent workout on the bike I have to spend like FOREVER riding it, and who has forever when you work and have 3 kids. I have had to come up with some way to get a decent workout in. Thus, the Beachbody home workout has been my go to. And honestly, they aren't bad. Typically it is a 30 minute workout that is super intense and focused to get the maximum results in the minimum amount of time... The problem is... I make so many EXCUSES! I can find so many different ways to get out of doing my workout. I don't wanna wake up early because I stay up so late working, then I don't wanna do it have work because I am trying to make dinner, clean up the kids, homework, bedtimes, etc..... and by the time I have 30 minutes I just want to fall into bed. Or, I'll say, "Oh I'll wait for my husband to work out with me" (I've been waiting 3 months...) and I'll say, "hmmm maybe it would be better to start next week for ___________ (fill in the blank with some lame excuse...). So! I have decided. NO MORE EXCUSES! I am making this week the week I work out everyday, and the week that begins many weeks of working out everyday! I CAN DO IT! (and a little voice inside says, "yeah right!") Which is why I am putting this in writing, no turning back now!<br />
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The lack of working out is just one factor in not reaching my fitness/weight loss goals... my eating habits have had a huge affect on the lack of reaching my goals. I generally am a pretty healthy eater... then stress enters my life, and forget all the cortisol stress mumbo jumbo science stuff... I gain weight when I am stressed because I eat junk! I did an amazing job last year for like 3 or 4 months eating amazingly well, and really being disciplined.... and then things got crazy and I sort of just stopped caring, and then life got even crazier, and well now I am back at square one. The biggest reason I did so well was I had to tell someone everything I ate. Well my pride wouldn't let me eat junk because I did not want to admit to having eaten something I knew I shouldn't have. When I don't have to be accountable to anyone slipping a cookie, a bag of chips, a slice of pizza, whatever it is at the moment that I think sounds good is too easy. When I know someone is looking over my shoulder I am so much more likely to follow through with my commitment. (How sad is that right? I mean I should be able to keep myself accountable!) But you know, today alone there were donuts, cookies, chocolate, candy, delicious breads, and more placed in front of me at work, with my kids, and at dinner. It is no wonder I cave in when I am constantly surrounded by things I know aren't good for me to eat. So, it is time to purge the house, (which is hard because I have a husband who eats junk and junk only(I know we are working on it...), and I have kids who occasionally like a treat), and it is time to say NO! This week I am upping the discipline, and I am going to make an effort to have healthy snacks on hand, and avoid temptation of things I know I should say "NO" too.<br />
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I say all this because I have a goal I want to reach, but I really want to model for my kids what healthy living is. They need to know that eating junky food is not fueling your body. And they need to know not to eat their problems. I want my kids to know that being physically fit and in shape is important in life to help you live a fuller and happier life where you can do things that want because your body is healthy! And if I continue to not model that for them, they will never make it a priority.<br />
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Lastly, I ask you a favor. If you see me this week, say, "Did you work out?" And if you see me reaching for that cookie... well tell me to put that cookie down and walk away! And if you see me running, you better start running too... because there must be something chasing me.<br />
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So, who else needs a workout buddy? <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-92tGyvEpbvLI-pmYgYU9w_00ccgKcHO_lkNWDpVnOGT92SlobakJo_fS9TKZElJ6XsR23RfuKhxEFiOh9rd6osIRvQkDvd7ZkQ5PwKJOo3Jm0u9-W8gdSRqTMlAc5RLHgDY4NZz71MA/s1600/never-quit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-92tGyvEpbvLI-pmYgYU9w_00ccgKcHO_lkNWDpVnOGT92SlobakJo_fS9TKZElJ6XsR23RfuKhxEFiOh9rd6osIRvQkDvd7ZkQ5PwKJOo3Jm0u9-W8gdSRqTMlAc5RLHgDY4NZz71MA/s1600/never-quit.jpg" height="319" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrKhaJwte6PoMjgMIV3ziKYXK1hcPjDPYuaVbo5pB_vobTBKDyVc3glwhWMB1c54NLdHV9CBVKcg-8a0uoxgkZK0NNOOdSZxCraMCj3TNWC-gGrHgMOuRksr2XCbRD0CGCNVUIP9-Izec/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrKhaJwte6PoMjgMIV3ziKYXK1hcPjDPYuaVbo5pB_vobTBKDyVc3glwhWMB1c54NLdHV9CBVKcg-8a0uoxgkZK0NNOOdSZxCraMCj3TNWC-gGrHgMOuRksr2XCbRD0CGCNVUIP9-Izec/s1600/images.jpg" /></a>New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-67818290302502329692015-04-04T07:42:00.000-07:002015-04-04T07:43:31.156-07:00Guard Frogs, Full Moons, Potty Breaks, and Inescapable Things...So we have this stack of bricks by our front door. I left them there one day and when I went to put them away I noticed this Frog (well toad, i know there is a difference, but I still call it a frog) and it was living in the bricks. Every night and every morning we could see it poking its head out of the holes in the bricks. I could not bring myself to move the bricks after that. One, I was like free bug killer and mosquito catcher right there by the front door! Score! Two, the kids loved seeing the frog every time we came in and out of the house, and it became a game to see if we could find him (or her who knows!), so I left the bricks.<br />
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Well, that was like 3 years ago... and every Spring we have "guard frogs" again. Last spring our guard frog had little frog babies and the kids went nuts! These teeny tiny baby frogs hopping around, and we watched them grow up all summer long! Yesterday, we witnessed the return of the "guard frog," and it got me thinking... they will always come back. That spot in those bricks is a great home for these frogs. And where we only had one the first year each year since we have had more and more.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIfPGG7iP4E-1e-GaATLTrshKQBtnrNzV5j1fMH79JB82ZNWQc3PWCd8J_6_hb4VlVE3_zYgFv_hbeXwOEhNolplY0Ja4OZV7zJxgwjNr0qeCLn1_T4vdfOf2WrA75G664KLeympgFFlw/s1600/20150403_195513.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIfPGG7iP4E-1e-GaATLTrshKQBtnrNzV5j1fMH79JB82ZNWQc3PWCd8J_6_hb4VlVE3_zYgFv_hbeXwOEhNolplY0Ja4OZV7zJxgwjNr0qeCLn1_T4vdfOf2WrA75G664KLeympgFFlw/s1600/20150403_195513.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp36MXkc6MXiNmZHrWH9ECG2BalI2uXItNuPlYrAIJCQM1dvVDa9pwWC0u-mnuYOZvdip6Xda7XfA11iaeKm4AZ-EC2zBXfM9ixYL0Q7D6FWRTIi0epiZz8mULi9flPsCu_GgP06Y8x4I/s1600/20150403_195602.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp36MXkc6MXiNmZHrWH9ECG2BalI2uXItNuPlYrAIJCQM1dvVDa9pwWC0u-mnuYOZvdip6Xda7XfA11iaeKm4AZ-EC2zBXfM9ixYL0Q7D6FWRTIi0epiZz8mULi9flPsCu_GgP06Y8x4I/s1600/20150403_195602.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a>They really do hang out right by the front door, and it is like they are guarding the house. (I do sort of worry when I walk in the house after dark that I am going to step on one!) Last night I counted 5 of these little "guard frogs." It really hit me... I am so glad there are certain things that just happen. Some things that are just inescapable facts of life. Spring time comes...frogs come. They will live in those bricks all summer until the first cold snap here and then they will disappear for the winter, and next spring they will come back. It is life. And in the craziness of my life, knowing certain things just will happen is really nice...<br />
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Just like every Spring our frogs return, every month there is a full moon. It just happens. God created the world with order, and in the midst of the chaos of my life the world continues to function in perfect order. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, "God is not a God of disorder, but of peace." And I do find peace in the order of his creation. The last few weeks things in life have seemed just out of control. And seeing the return of our "guard frogs" and the full moon made me realize even though my life may seem out of control, God has everything in perfect order. I can rest and have peace in knowing that I am not in control but He is.<br />
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It is just like I know the moment we walk in the grocery store, one of my children will say they need to go to the bathroom. We will walk to the bathroom and I will ask all 3 to go. Only one will, even though I make everyone try. We will get all the way to the back of the store and kid 2 will ask to go to the bathroom, AND It will be an emergency, so we will run to the front of the store, and everyone will go potty AGAIN! We will resume our shopping trip, get to the back of the store again, and wait for it......... kid #3 will say they HAVE to go to the bathroom! It is inevitable. EVERY TIME. It used to drive me crazy, and it definitely prolonged my shopping trips. But, I have started to embrace the multiple potty trips. It is an inescapable fact of life. And as I said there is a comfort in knowing certain things will just happen, when sooo many uncertain things take place every day. Don't get me wrong, solo shopping trips are still my favorite because it is like going to the spa or something equally relaxing. I actually take longer at the store when I don't have the kids then when they are with me.... But again that is just one of those inescapable facts of life.<br />
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So, with the frogs, the full moon, the kids and their potty breaks, I began thinking about the one thing I know I just can't escape. Psalm 139: 1 - 12 says,<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Ps-139-1">"O <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, you have examined my heart</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-1">and know everything about me.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-2" id="en-NLT-16218"><sup class="versenum">2 </sup>You know when I sit down or stand up.</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-2">You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-3" id="en-NLT-16219"><sup class="versenum">3 </sup>You see me when I travel</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-3">and when I rest at home.</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-3">You know everything I do.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-4" id="en-NLT-16220"><sup class="versenum">4 </sup>You know what I am going to say</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-4">even before I say it, <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-5" id="en-NLT-16221"><sup class="versenum">5 </sup>You go before me and follow me.</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-5">You place your hand of blessing on my head.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-6" id="en-NLT-16222"><sup class="versenum">6 </sup>Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-6">too great for me to understand!</span></span> </div>
<div class="poetry top-1" style="text-align: center;">
<div class="line" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="text Ps-139-7" id="en-NLT-16223"><sup class="versenum">7 </sup>I can never escape from your Spirit!</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-7">I can never get away from your presence!</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-8" id="en-NLT-16224"><sup class="versenum">8 </sup>If I go up to heaven, you are there;</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-8">if I go down to the grave,<sup> </sup>you are there.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-9" id="en-NLT-16225"><sup class="versenum">9 </sup>If I ride the wings of the morning,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-9">if I dwell by the farthest oceans,</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-10" id="en-NLT-16226"><sup class="versenum">10 </sup>even there your hand will guide me,</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-10">and your strength will support me.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-11" id="en-NLT-16227"><sup class="versenum">11 </sup>I could ask the darkness to hide me</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-11">and the light around me to become night—</span></span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-12" id="en-NLT-16228"><sup class="versenum">12 </sup><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span>but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.</span></span><br />
<span class="text Ps-139-12">To you the night shines as bright as day.</span><br />
<span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-12">Darkness and light are the same to you."</span></span></div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-12">It doesn't matter that I don't know what tomorrow will hold, and I don't know what next school year holds for my kids, and I don't know what next school year holds for me, and I don't know what the next 5 years hold (yes, I wonder about the future... more than I should), and it doesn't matter that I am behind in my school work, and it doesn't matter that life seems really chaotic at times.... </span></span></div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-12">I just have to accept the inescapable love of a Creator who brought perfect order to darkness. A Creator who shaped nothingness into something and brings "guard frogs" every spring, and full moons every month, and yes even a Creator who gave me 3 children who will inevitably ALL ask to go to the bathroom at DIFFERENT times at the grocery store. </span></span></div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="first-line-none" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-12">I have to rest in the peace of knowing </span></span><span class="text Eph-1-4" id="en-NLT-29171"><sup>"</sup>Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.</span> <span class="text Eph-1-5" id="en-NLT-29172">God
decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to
himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave
him great pleasure." (Ephesians 1:4 - 5) </span></div>
<div class="first-line-none" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="first-line-none" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="text Eph-1-5" id="en-NLT-29172">With Easter coming, and the reminder of Jesus dying to pay for my sins so I can spend eternity in heaven with God, something I am so unworthy of, it is a great reminder that God decided a long time ago to save me, and ANYONE who accepts the gift of salvation through Jesus. And I don't accept that gift lightly. It is not a gift to take advantage of, but a gift that leads me to want to live a life pleasing to my Father in heaven, and be grateful for the order and peace that only He can bring. So, in my chaos, I have to stop and praise God for his perfect plan and I have to remember that my God is a God of peace and order, and with His help, I can step out of the chaos and disorder, and rest in the inescapable love that God has for me. </span> </div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-12"> </span></span></div>
<div class="line" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-17213282718808475052015-03-25T19:25:00.002-07:002021-03-19T18:47:55.453-07:00A Heart Divided Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?<br />
<br />
This is often something I have wondered, especially with shows like the Bachelor on TV. I mean you see these men and women get to the end of the show and admit they love both the finalists equally. I never really knew if that was possible. You know, I thought, surely there is SOMETHING that makes one of them stand out above the other.... surely they could just look inside themselves and determine who they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with!<br />
<br />
Then I fell in love with two things....<br />
<br />
According to the Bible, we must "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength and with all your soul and with all your mind and love your neighbor as yourself." Luke 10:27<br />
<br />
So, my first love is God. I can honestly say that is not a struggle for me. God is greater than anything in my life, husband, kids, family, work, hobbies.... God is greater.<br />
<br />So I have 3 incredibly beautiful children who I am blessed by every day. If you want to know the meaning of unconditional love look into the faces of these 3 kids who love me even when I fail at mommy-hood. I mean I screw it up big sometimes, yet I still get kisses and hugs and just forgiveness. I know we are to look at God as a Father and we can compare His love and grace to a parents' love, but you know I think to get a glimpse of grace I can simply look at my children and how they love me through all my imperfections. So, I have this life I love, who wouldn't! I truly love every minute I spend with these 3incredible people God has put in my life as part of my journey.<br />
<br />
Yet, I have another love. Something I love equally as much. I never thought I would say that about anything, but I love serving and giving of myself to others. And at the moment that "others" is defined as the people of Sri Lanka. It perhaps could be expanded but for now that is what it is. I am in love with these people and this place. There is a sense of freedom, of feeling so completely at home, and so joyful working as part of the English Program we lead. I can honestly say, I feel as thought I am living out God's plan for my life when I am there.<br />
<br />
So how do I endure this impossible idea of loving two things so completely? How do I love one without cheating on the other? I have yet to find a solution. When in Sri Lanka, it is as if I put my family in a neat little box and don't allow myself to spend too much time thinking about them, because when I do the thought of not being with them makes me incredibly sad.... but yet when I am with my family I have to do the same thing with my love for the people in Sri Lanka. I have to tuck one or the other into a neat little box and make sure I don't spend too much time thinking of either one.<br />
<br />
Then I begin to think, this can't be God's plan. I mean why would he allow my heart to be so torn and broken. But then I realize I am not God (thank goodness, wouldn't the world be a screwed up place then), and I realize it comes down to one thing. I HAVE TO TRUST GOD.<br />
<br />
<div class="line">
He created me. Look at Psalms 139, "<span class="text Ps-139-1">O <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>, you have examined my heart </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-139-1">and know everything about me.</span></span><span class="text Ps-139-2" id="en-NLT-16218"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>You know when I sit down or stand up. </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-139-2">You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.</span></span><span class="text Ps-139-3" id="en-NLT-16219"> You see me when I travel </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-139-3">and when I rest at home.</span></span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-3">You know everything I do.</span></span><span class="text Ps-139-4" id="en-NLT-16220"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>You know what I am going to say </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-139-4">even before I say it, <span class="small-caps" style="font-variant: small-caps;">Lord</span>.</span></span><span class="text Ps-139-5" id="en-NLT-16221"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>You go before me and follow me.</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-5">You place your hand of blessing on my head.</span></span><span class="text Ps-139-6" id="en-NLT-16222"><sup class="versenum"> </sup>Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,</span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"> </span><span class="text Ps-139-6">too great for me to understand!</span></span><span class="text Ps-139-7" id="en-NLT-16223"><sup> </sup>I can never escape from your Spirit! </span><span class="indent-1"><span class="indent-1-breaks"></span><span class="text Ps-139-7">I can never get away from your presence!" The verses go on and on to say how well God knows me/us and in creating me, he knew what he was doing. He gave me the big heart that he gave me for a purpose and all I can do is live the life He has placed in front of me, this beautiful adventurous journey. I need to trust Him with my family, I need to trust Him with my friends in Sri Lanka, and I need to trust that He knows what he is doing because He knows everything about me and how I feel. I just need to work on living one day at a time, loving the people in my life so completely that they can't help but feel the presence of God. If I do that, regardless of if I am in America or Sri Lanka, I will be living out God's plan for my life. I may feel as if my heart is living in two places completely around the world from each other, but if I am loving people as God would love them and TRUSTING that He is in control, I am doing exactly what He wants. I can't worry about loving one more or less than the other. I just have to love. It is the greatest commandment after all. </span></span></div>
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<span class="indent-1"><span class="text Ps-139-7"><br /></span></span></div>
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New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4659710197409534116.post-92040325889167835872015-03-23T14:01:00.007-07:002021-03-19T18:45:19.203-07:00Reflections on MommyhoodToday my oldest child turns 8. That is sort of hard to believe.<br />
<br />
1. It means that I am old enough to have an 8 year old, and I have to admit there are so many times I still feel like a kid myself.<br />
<br />
As I think about my life as a mom the last 8 years, I have spent some time contemplating how I feel about being a mom.<br />
<br />
IT IS HARD WORK!<br />
<br />I used to babysit all the time when I was in high school and in college. I was in high demand as a babysitter, because I genuinely loved kids! I came with a bag of goodies and planned all sorts of fun things! It is kinda crazy that many of the kids I used to babysit are in college now some even married, and it will be even stranger when they have their own kids! So, I used to look at the families I babysat for, and dream of one day having my own family and kids, and I thought of all the things I would do with my family. I sort of took all the good things from each of those families (leaving out any of the bad) and created my idea of my perfect little dream family/life.<br />
<br />
Boy was I wrong! Being a mom has been so much different than I anticipated. Don't get me wrong I love it, and I find it really rewarding. But all those dreams I had, I don't think one of them has actually occurred!<br />
<br />
I think the first time it hit me that life was not going to be what I imagined was when I realized this kid doesn't go home. This is her home. I mean when I babysat I would go and we would have a great time, and I even hung out with several of their families and it was always sunshine and rainbows. But then I had my own baby, and she never left, there was no going home. It took some adjusting to realize my husband and I were solely responsible for the care of this tiny little thing. And she was TINY! Once I adjusted to a new routine and a new "normal" I began to really love mommy hood. I was good at it, or so I thought. Then she started walking and talking, and a whole new can of worms was opened. I had to not just be a mommy, but I actually had to be a parent.<br />
<br />
Thus, the second time it hit me that life was not going to be what I imagined was when I realized there is a lot more to being a mom than just feeding, clothing, and making sure this little kid slept. She would actually want to talk to me, and ask me things, and I would have to have at least SOME answers, and I needed to make sure I taught right and wrong because that doesn't just come hard wired. (I have to give credit to all the families that I babysat for, Yall did an amazing job raising your kids, because they sure were great, and I realize now, that took a lot of hard work on your part.) So, around the time my oldest turned 3 I realized things would be much harder than I anticipated. This is when I began to think "what have I gotten myself into!" and "I have no idea how to be a good mom!" Let's just say I started to pray in a whole new way. And I also began to view scriptures about being a parent, and God being our father in whole new way. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is older he will not depart from it." This meant I would have to do the training! I felt so ill equipped to train up this little child! And then we had another baby! WOW! Talk about a curve ball!<br />
<br />
So, now I had this precious, incredibly bright 3 year old and a little baby, and I was trying to just figure out how to survive much less "train up in the way they should go!"As I said before, I firmly believe that God has a plan, and I believed in His plan then.... but man I had no clue what the plan was... and being the kind of person I am that drove me crazy! So each day I prayed I would know what to do with these 2 precious little girls, and I often felt less and less like a good mother.<br />
<br />
Then, SURPRISE! baby number 3! I was like, "Hello! God??? What are you thinking!?!" But we embraced it and tried to get excited about the little boy who would be joining us (and can I say, WOW he is such a joy today, but sooooo scary then!) There were many nights when I was pregnant that the girls ate dinner at 4pm and were in bed by 4:45. When they would ask "Why are we going to bed when the sun is still up?" I would reply, "The sun is staying up late tonight..." Parenting was hard then, but it was still a time of feed, clothe, bathe, little bit of discipline, repeat. No major life stuff.<br />
<br />
Our next big adventure was school. When my oldest started Kindergarten, I had to totally rethink how I viewed being a parent. Now I was also helping manage someones education! I was responsible for her learning stuff... I mean responsible for her becoming a contributing member of society! School also brought questions about friendships, obedience (she had to change her color more than once!), having a good work ethic, doing things to the best of your ability, and working with a cheerful heart. I realized I wanted her to learn to read and do math (thank goodness for her dad!), but more importantly I wanted her to learn values and learn how to pursue her dreams while never giving up.<br />
<br />
So, each day I struggle with feeling inadequate as a mother. Each day, there is a new element to being a parent I did not expect. But I have to remind myself when I feel this way what it says in Hebrews 13:21, "may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in
you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is
pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever!" All I have to do is ask, and God will equip me. These three kids are His will for my life, He would not have given them to me if He did not think I was equipped or could be equipped to care for them. So each day when I am running out of patience, or reacting in anger, or hiding in my closet because I can't take one more minute of the chaos that is my children... God has and will equip me to handle this! Take a deep breath and face them with the grace that God has shown me.<br />
<br />
Lastly, I guess, on this 8th birthday of my oldest child, I realize I am glad she is getting older. This is what being a parent is all about. It would be a real tragedy if she never grew, never changed. God has placed me in her life to teach her, train her, love her, and then set her free in the world. I am excited about the day she goes out and my hope is that she changes the world! I pray that she will be more, do more, and glorify God more than I ever did, and I truly can't wait to see what kind of World Changer she will be!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-Je0uk7fsgr6jwOx34NvKPmX12VE8_1LWnenMQrO0tZCENglb_38H56lsy3zJFlIIDG3RoK-ixWjF0ibZXurDhoevZttXZ2wTWW6sFnMI_Ow-X6RBoxBpogxHEiYRgeBh8-4r75ZFhY/s1600/10981512_1558063651142223_884720164565361910_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_-Je0uk7fsgr6jwOx34NvKPmX12VE8_1LWnenMQrO0tZCENglb_38H56lsy3zJFlIIDG3RoK-ixWjF0ibZXurDhoevZttXZ2wTWW6sFnMI_Ow-X6RBoxBpogxHEiYRgeBh8-4r75ZFhY/s1600/10981512_1558063651142223_884720164565361910_n.jpg" width="176" /></a></div>
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I pray she will "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us<sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NLT-29267a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NLT-29267a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]">[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians+5%3A2&version=NLT#fen-NLT-29267a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</sup> and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God." Ephesians 5:2</div>
New Beginningshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15917796139100333997noreply@blogger.com0