Haven't posted anything lately. Not for lack of having anything to say necessarily, but more for lack of having the words to say what I really want to say. I think my brain went on mental shut down after the school year ended and everything I have been thinking has been running around my mind like a hamster in a wheel and the hamster just doesn't know when to quit.
Life has been pretty ordinary lately. Nothing too exciting, and I think that is when I start to think about so many different parts of my life, so needless to say, several posts to come soon.
But today I was struck by something that has been a part of me for a long time, and I can't help but write about it. I love music, I have always enjoyed music and liked listening to music from back in the day when I blasted New Kids on the Block and Paula Abdul cassettes in my room to when I started driving and I used my makeshift stereo system to blare my "Nothing Says I Love You Like Punk Rock" Cds, to now when my musical taste ranges from classical, to pop, to Sinhalese songs, to Hindi songs, to rock, and any other number of musical choices. What I have come to realize is that for me music isn't about the actual music (I know odd), but it's about the words and the memories and the experiences and people tied to the music. A single song can make me laugh, smile, and/or melt into a puddle of tears.
I am so tone deaf. And I have ZERO rhythm. Which is why my love of music is kinda of odd... I love to dance to, but you have probably never seen me dance, and if you do see me dance its because either you love me A LOT and see me in moments when I am just me, or I love you A LOT because I am willing to dance in public and cast aside all cares about my severe lack of rhythm for you. Now you may have heard me sing, and I apologize now. I know I can't carry a tune to save my life, but there is something about a song I love coming on that sometimes, regardless of whose ears I may be hurting, I can't help but sing. I love being at home and in the car when I can just sing along to all my favorites, which is an extraordinarily long list...
So, knowing that it is not the actual instrumental part of the music I love the most, but more the lyrics and memories tied to the music, I have begun to see music and songs as a way of explaining my life. I seriously set music to what I am doing. Like in a movie when a song plays during a scene, its like that for my life. If my life were a movie I have a song for every scene. I can hear a certain song, and its like I am suddenly transported to a completely different time and place. I mean vividly transported. If I shut my eyes I could tell you exactly what I was smelling and tasting and seeing whenever that song had its biggest impact on my life. For example, Norah Jones' "Come away With Me," "Painters Song," "Lonestar," and just about any song from her "Come Away With Me Album" instantly transport me to Bolivar, Missouri, in my sliver Ford Focus with the windows down, and the orange and red fall leaves blowing past my windows as I drive down the street between the dorms. The air is just cool enough and crisp that it brings a slight chill to my skin, but it's just a perfect moment. I could go on describing the scene but when one of those songs come on it is like I am suddenly slammed through time into a completely different place and the memories flood back. It's like that with just about every song I hear. I instantly connect it to some memory, or to a person, and when it comes on it can be an amazing memory and I can laugh about it, smile about, feel sentimental, or cry about the pain, loss, or joy that whatever it was brought me. When I hear the song Oceans I am transported to a beach in Sri Lanka and the amazing moments I have shared with my wonderful creator Lord and the times I have spend in prayer breathing in the spray of the ocean and thanking Him for the beauty around me.
I also love how a song can so succinctly capture what I am thinking. The lyrics of song can easily express so many feeling within a few lines. Way to go song writers! I find that I catch myself wanting to insert song lyrics into what I am saying, or when someone says something that is also the line from a song I start singing the song in my head.